Assassin’s Creed Unity Really Can’t Animate Women or Anything Else Actually

Remember when Ubisoft was all, “We can’t include women in Assassin’s Creed Unity because they’re too hard to animate?” Tons of nightmare-inducing glitches from the new game prove that women are, in fact, much too difficult for the game studio to render—like the above image, from Reddit.

If you like a little surrealism with your video games, you might love what Ubi has done to your Assassin’s Creed experience.

looks like women WERE too hard to animate after all pic.twitter.com/nQ52Sk8KKY

— Patrick Lindsey (@HanFreakinSolo) November 12, 2014

Love this terrifying glitch from Assassin’s Creed Unity – what’s the best glitch you’ve seen? http://t.co/t42u91Jpcq pic.twitter.com/eqliU8wjRK — BundleStars (@BundleStars) November 13, 2014

Hair done right in games ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) pic.twitter.com/25ReGBBBhn

— Venom Omek (@omek90) November 13, 2014

WAKE ME UP WAKE ME UP INSIDE CAN’T WAKE UP WAKE ME UP INSIDE SAAAAAVE MEEEEE pic.twitter.com/PeKL0Ky3gk

— SOOS BOOB (@Dr_Yay) November 13, 2014

all i know about unity is that this is a glitch that is happening to a lot of ppl and i cant honestly be mad about it pic.twitter.com/4OgDk5gnDF — ShimmyDance (@AShimmyDance) November 12, 2014

Please visit our Live Updates blog for info on how our team is addressing the issues #ACUnity players are reporting http://t.co/WEm851pMCW

— Ubisoft (@Ubisoft) November 13, 2014

There’s even a wonderful video compilation (set to “Barbie Girl,” so you’re welcome for getting that stuck in your head all day) of a ton of in-game glitches. Things start to get really good around 1:30, but it’s all grand.

While this is all undoubtedly hilarious, we have also admittedly been experiencing a touch of schadenfreude when it comes AC: Unity‘s poor reviews. It comes down to this: If your game isn’t finished, don’t release it. (And if you do release it, don’t embargo reviews until after it’s up for sale to trick people into buying it).

It sure seems to me like AC: Unity could have benefitted from a little more time in development before hitting the shelves. Perhaps next time, Ubisoft should consider taking just a few more weeks and adding some things that a large part of their audience feels are missing from the franchise: an interesting storyline with a character you actually care about in a game that actually works.

Oh, and playable female characters. Obviously.

(compilation via Sokareemie, GIF via Twitter)

Are you following The Mary Sue on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, & Google +?