HEY LAAAAAAAAAAAAADIES! Are you single and ready to mingle? Do you like your men misogynistic, homophobic, and fascist? Are you looking to live out your Donna Reed fantasy in some dude’s mom’s basement? Then good news! The Proud Boys are on the hunt for Mike Pence their future wives!
At a “Fall Love Fest” rally in Los Angeles this past weekend, a pack of Proud Boys took a break from chanting “F-ck Antifa!” to let the sparse crowd know that many of them are single and “looking for housewives.” It’s amazing that these gents are single. You mean no woman has signed up for a lifetime of cooking, cleaning, and providing sex for these red-pilled cult members? Color us shocked.
At the Proud Boys’ ‘Fall Love Fest’ rally in LA yesterday, speaker announces that many of them are single and “looking for house wives.” pic.twitter.com/uNVFGolTVi
— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) October 17, 2021
Now, we’ve all had our fair share of bad dates and terrible partners. And many of us have had a long and lonely pandemic. But trust me when I tell you: ladies, you’re better off alone. After all, do you really want to be stuck making Hamburger Helper over a travel Sterno grill in the parking lot of the Boise city hall while your husband rants about critical race theory to strangers?
Are you prepared for a lifetime of schlepping milk everywhere you go just in case your bonehead hubby accidentally pepper sprays himself again? And are you ready for a man who will spend your kids’ college fund on tickets to see Joe Rogan live? JK, college is for gay liberal elites.
Many took to Twitter to mock these sad little men and their romantic aspirations:
CHRISTMAS IN TINSELTOWN
A Hallmark Channel Production👩🏻: It’s late Fall, there’s a chill in the air, & I am resigned to spending another holiday season alone
👨🏻🦲: I AM HERE AMONG THE MONGREL HORDES OF L.A. TO WARN AGAINST THE EVIL OF DEEP STATE SOCIALISM
(both enter Starbucks)
— Dreamweasel (@Dreamweasel) October 17, 2021
Ladies, if you’ve always dreamed 😍 of meeting a chubby guy with a tiny peen & neckbeard who lives in his mom’s basement & enjoys old Hustler mags & AR-15 promo videos, now’s your chance to marry one & spend your days washing his tightie whities!👇🏽#ProudBoys #losers #incels https://t.co/j3KlQugQHq
— Mindful Primate (@MichellesDude) October 17, 2021
The Proud Boys are so interested in finding “house wives” because they need mommy stand-ins to take care of them.
— Wombat Medic (@CallMeCookie) October 17, 2021
“I mean technically it’s my mom’s house but” https://t.co/42c2v98knr
— BloodRiverFlow (@PearlRiverFlow) October 18, 2021
Proud Boys want “house wives.” Ok, but first grow up to at least Proud Men. https://t.co/auV3VUr7kr
— C. Walworth (@carlawalworth) October 17, 2021
“Looking for house wives”, AND being Proud Boys…I’m so f*cking shocked so many are single!!🙄 https://t.co/vXMZjKaLrp pic.twitter.com/sBQCLYenL2
— 7SeaTurtlesAllEndangered (@japalian7) October 17, 2021
If you are seeking a wife perhaps a Proud Boys rally is not the best place to look. https://t.co/BQbAC9IQeC
— Patrick W. Watson (@PatrickW) October 17, 2021
The sad truth of it is, there ARE women out there who share the same odious views as the proud boys. White women especially are no stranger to propping up systemic racism, xenophobia, and fascism. Good luck, ladies. That jizz-covered Playstation controller isn’t going to clean itself!
(image: screencap/Twitter)
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