9 Movies That Unintentionally Caused Our Bisexual Awakenings
Raise your hand if you have been attacked by one of these movies.
Netflix’s Heartstopper is an adorable queer teen romance everyone should watch at least once. The diverse cast of characters are so realistic that you forget they’re all fictional people. One scene stuck out as so relatable it hurt. A character is questioning his sexuality. He thinks he might be much more bisexual than he previously thought. Keeping his turmoil to himself, his mom still noticed he was upset about something, so she popped in one of their favorite movies to help him feel better. As Pirates of the Caribbean played, his panic grew even worse as he found both Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom attractive.
I am pretty sure this is a universal bisexual experience. How many people have had their entire identity turned upside down because of the beauty of Knightley and Bloom (especially when they are being all flirty with each other)? It may be unintentional, but Disney made a film that awakened those feelings in many. And there are tons more mainstream movies (usually action and rated PG-13) that cause this kind of widespread bi-panic. Let’s look at some movies that unintentionally made us question our sexuality.
Pirates of the Caribbean 1, 2, 3 (2006-2007)
As mentioned above, Knightly and Bloom starred as Elizabeth Swann and Will Turner in the original Pirates films. They are both so pretty and have such great chemistry that they are very distracting from everything else going on. We fall even more in love with them as they turn from average, law-abiding citizens to pirates. There’s also a sea goddess/turned beautiful swamp witch, Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris) who isn’t a slacker in the “awakening certain yearnings” department either. I can see why Davy Jones had to cut out his heart to forget her.
Star Wars Orignal Trilogy (1977-1983) and Prequels (1999-2005)
In the original Star Wars trilogy, we had Han Solo (Harrison Ford) and Leia Organa (Carrie Fisher). Everyone either wanted to be them or was in love with them—and some of us checked all the above. In the prequel trilogy, Natalie Portman as Padmé (a young queen turned senator) and Hayden Christensen as Anakin (soon to be Darth Vader) were the doomed star-crossed lovers that made people question a few things.
Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Okay, we’ve got Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Loki (Tom Hiddleston), Hela (Cate Blanchett), Heimdall (Idris Elba), Grandmaster (Jeff Goldblum), and Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson), how can a person remain straight after watching this movie? Not to mention Loki and Valkyrie radiate chaotic bi-energy like crazy (probably because they are canonically bisexual). Part of me thinks they made this one just to torture us.
Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)
With an insanely attractive principal cast (Winona Ryder, Keanu Reeves, and Gary Oldman) and the sexiness of vampires, straightness never stood a chance. These are the people I picture while reading Dracula Daily (because you can’t improve upon perfection).
Fast and the Furious (2001)
Yes, it is about family and great cars. But it’s also about being overcome by the sexiness of Vin Diesel (with his trademark rumbling voice) and bad girl Michelle Rodriguez. Look, I don’t make the rules.
Gone in 60 Seconds (2000)
Even in that regrettable blonde wig, Angelina Jolie as Sara “Sway” Wayland changed lives. Through beloved Nicolas Cage as Memphis Raines and a bunch of very sexy cars…Let’s just say that straight people went into the theater but a lot more bisexuals walked out.
Desperado (1995)
Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek leave a wake of destruction and people hopelessly in love with both of them. That is the plot, right?
The Mummy (1999)
There are many claims on the internet that the Mummy films turned an entire generation queer. Brendan Fraser played reluctant adventurer Rick O’Connell who joined Ancient Egypt nerd Evelyn (Rachel Weisz) on her quest for a lost city. Plus, there is Jonathan (John Hannah), who reads like a relatable bisexual mess. Ardeth Bay (Oded Fehr) tried to keep the haphazard heroes from the cursed city, but even his fierceness couldn’t stop them. The Mummy/Imhotep (Arnold Vosloo) rose from the dead to resurrect his lost love, the beautiful Anck Su Namun (Patricia Velasquez). So much of the cast is painfully attractive and loveable. This movie makes it hard to resist going down the bisexual path. Especially if you believe the interviews that Fraser dressed in Anck Su Namun’s full gold pain look to surprise Vosloo in what was supposed to be a romantic scene. Can we please see this footage?!
Which movie gave you your first bi-awakening? Comment and let us know!
(feature image: Disney)
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