Best Valentine’s Day Gift Ever: Name a Cockroach!

Hey, romantic people: Are you tired of giving or receiving flowers for Valentine’s Day because, like me, you think it smells like a funeral home? Well, there is amazing news and a brand new way to show someone you care. The Bronx Zoo is giving lovey-dovey lovers the chance to name a cockroach in honor of someone about whom they care. Perfect for everyone who thought naming a star was a nice gesture, but not the most tangible gift one could give. Or weirdos.

First of all, no, this opportunity does not let you bring home a cockroach for a pet. Besides, you might already have one or 24 that you don’t even know about. (Surprise pets!) However, the roach naming does have a charitable spin to it. From the Bronx Zoo site:

Can’t decide on what to get that special someone for Valentine’s Day? Sometimes the answer is all around us, and right where it’s been for millions of years—like cockroaches! How better to express your appreciation for that special someone than to name one of the Bronx Zoo’s 58,000 Madagascar hissing cockroach after them? Best of all, when you purchase this everlasting gift, you’ll help support the Wildlife Conservation Society and its five parks in New York City.

And it only costs $10 to name a Madagascar roach! It’s probably not feasible that they’ll mark a roach — the one you’ll name Senator Bojangles — with a drop of nail polish so you can pay the roach a visit and make friends. But you will be doing a good deed by supporting the Wildlife Conservation Society. (So, yes, it is still kind of like naming a star, but still. Bugs are cool!)

Did we mention there are also chocolate roaches available? No, not chocolate-covered roaches. Just chocolate shaped like roaches. (We can’t all be expected to be as adventurous as Andrew Zimmern.) These artisanal dark chocolate roaches were created by Sabrina Berkowitz of The Chocolate Box NYC and go for $25 each, $35 for a pair. Proceeds from that also go towards the Wildlife Conservation Society. Here is what they look like:

Oh, yeeeeeeahhhhh …

If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “Why won’t these roaches leave me alone? They never, ever go away!” then you may have inadvertently found yourself with the perfect way to tell someone you will love them forever. Or that they will never leave you alone, but you’re okay with that.

(via Skepchick)