Ranking all the Wolverine variants in ‘Deadpool & Wolverine’
What’s a more impossible challenge than killing Wolverine? Completing this list. Wolverine was easily the best part of Deadpool & Wolverine, and the character is also responsible for one of the greatest superhero movies ever made: Logan. These variants are all good, but who is best?
9. Weapon Omega
Who’s Weapon Omega? He’s the one-armed Wolverine that instantly murdered Deadpool. While all the Wolverines are short-fused and violent (one especially short) Weapon Omega isn’t really Wolverine. Rather, he isn’t really Logan. Weapon Omega appears in the Age of Apocalypse storyline, where a post-apocalyptic world has transformed Logan into someone completely unrecognizable. While we still love him and he’s totally badass, he’s not quite the Logan we know and love.
8. Crucified Wolverine
Crucified Wolverine wins big points for one thing: commitment to the bit. Deadpool finds this Wolverine variant crucified on a giant X while surrounded by a sea of bones. Wait a minute, Wolverine has a healing factor, right? Couldn’t he just rip his way off that X and heal up? Yes, he could. But he doesn’t. Why not? Because he chooses not to. Obviously, this Wolverine has an understanding of the theatrical and the dramatic. He’s not coming down because he looks arresting up there. All style, no substance. But style is never to be underestimated.
7. Patch
Patch is the sharply dressed undercover identity Wolverine uses when going… undercover. While he’s absolutely serving James Bond vibes, he doesn’t rank higher on this list because his disguise is… questionable. I mean, really Logan? Slicked back hair and an eyepatch do not a disguise make. Yes, you look amazing. But I can tell it’s you. Who wouldn’t recognize that face?
6. Short King Wolverine
Who doesn’t love a short king? This diminutive Wolverine isn’t some Mutliversal fluke, but actually a callout to the original Wolverine character. Before Hugh Jackman came along, Wolverine wasn’t exactly statuesque. He’s supposed to look like… well… a wolverine. Small. Ugly. Mean. Not to be messed with. The original Wolverine stood not at a Hugh Jackman 6’2″, but at a bite-sized 5’3″. Don’t be fooled. He might be a foot shorter than Hugh, but he’s got twice the rage.
5. Wolverine vs. The Hulk Wolverine
Wolverine vs. The Hulk Wolverine earns big points because he’s from one of the best Wolverine stories ever told. Wolverine battles the Hulk. Who wouldn’t want to see that? His brown John Byrne-inspired costume is a strong fashion statement. Smokey. Woodsy. Totally stylish. You just know that guy smells like oak trees, gun oil, and aftershave. They need to make a deodorant inspired by this Wolverine. Surely it would fly off the shelves.
4. Old Man Logan
When it comes to raw aura, few other Wolverines can compete with Old Man Logan. In case you couldn’t tell, he’s the old-looking dude sitting on the porch with a shotgun in his lap. Big aura points there. Old Man Logan comes from an X-Men storyline set in an alternate universe where all of the superheroes were wiped out by supervillains. Only Logan is left, his body finally catching up with him. This Wolverine is too tired to get up and claw Deadpool to death. That’s why he has the shottie equipped. It’s economical.
3. The Cavillrine
There’s only one man who could replace Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, and they found him. Henry Cavill is easily the most obvious choice. Who else could compete with ol’ Hugh in terms of brute strength and general rugged sex appeal? While the Cavillrine only had a few minutes of screen time, he left quite an impression on fans. They’re thirsty for more.
2. Logan
While he may have been reduced to a bag of adamantium-plated bones in Deadpool & Wolverine, this Wolverine is responsible for one of the most impactful superhero movies of the 21st Century. What makes Logan so great? It’s a self-contained story. Unlike Deadpool & Wolverine, you don’t need to have watched a glut of Marvel content in order to understand the story. You literally just need to know the basic story of Logan, and the movie takes it from there. You’re not gonna miss out on any plot points because you didn’t watch season one episode six of a Marvel TV series or a Marvel movie from 10+ years ago. It’s a raw, brutal, and beautiful movie that doesn’t require any further explanation. Unlike Deadpool & Wolverine, Logan is a film that doesn’t need to gas itself up on endless cameos, repeated sword-in-testicles gags, and script that a twelve-year-old still learning to cuss could have come up with. Yes, Deadpool & Wolverine did exactly what it said it would do when they dug up Logan’s bones: It ruined this Logan’s legacy. But at least we still have our memories of him, right? Even if his actual bones are now impaled into the corpses of some time guys who were just trying to do their jobs.
1. ’00s Wolverine
While this version of Wolverine only appears in the heartstring-tugging nostalgia bomb that was Deadpool & Wolverine’s post-credits sequence, it’s easy to see why this Wolverine reigns as king of the variants. He’s the one that started it all! This Wolverine was responsible for turning the X-Men into some of the most popular Marvel characters of all time. And look how adorable young Hugh Jackman is! So nervous to be on set for the first time! So unaware that he’s in the process of making history. He didn’t realize at the time, but Wolverine would soon become one of the actor’s most iconic roles. Like Deadpool said, Hugh could keep churning out Wolverine stories until he’s 90 years old and we’d all come back to watch them. After all, he was easily the best part of Deadpool & Wolverine, and arguably the strongest character in the film. Certainly the only one with any shred of pathos. Fingers crossed we get to see a 90-year-old Hugh as Old Man Logan someday.
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