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Ask the Mary Sues: The All-Time Best Halloween Candy Countdown

We're trick-or-treating at the house with the full size candy bars.

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It’s Halloween weekend, and amid the costumes, the scary movies, and the pumpkin carving, we almost forgot the most important part of our favorite spooky holiday. The candy! While all holidays have their own special sweets and treats, Halloween stands out as a celebration of store-bought goodness. Walk into any big box store or supermarket and you’ll find aisles filled to the brim with bags of fun-sized candy large enough to feed a small army.

In many ways, Halloween is a holiday for indulgence. Whether you’re tapping into your naughty side with a risqué costume, or celebrating your love of scares with a horror movie, Halloween is the time to let loose. Naturally, this got us thinking about our favorite Halloween candies, and why we love them. So go ahead and have a handful of Snickers for dinner. It’s Halloween baby!

Princess Weekes:

Twix bars! The only candy that even if it isn’t full sized it feels really satisfying to eat. It has the perfect chocolate to filling balance. The only downside is that people expect you to share, which, and I say this from the bottom of my heart, eat shit and live.

Dan Van Winkle:

Sour Patch Kids! I’ve always been a fan of the contradiction of tart/sour candy, and while there are several notable options on that front, Sour Patch Kids are the winners for me. They just really nail the combination of the sourness with the gummy texture and flavor assortment.

Rachel Leishman:

Nestle Crunch is the way to go, always and forever. Sure, they’re not as popular now but getting a Crunch in your Trick or Treat bag? Nothing better.

Briana Lawrence:

My first choice is Twix for every reason that Princess said, but since it’s already said I’ll choose Starbursts, specifically, Pink Starbursts. The only downside is that fun-sized Starbursts only come in twos so you have to hope that when you open it, you have the superior pink one. Though these days you can find “Pink Only” Starburst packs so, there’s that.

Alyssa Shotwell:

My favorite Halloween candy (and favorite chocolate period) is Reese’s. I’m like the Cookie Monster of Reese’s (and certain cookies TBH) and I’ll be forever bothered that they could make a good candy (in all its iterations), cereal, but not lip balm? I wish that each month Reese’s were shaped differently rather than just Halloween, Christmas and Easter.

Chelsea Steiner:

This year I’m choosing violence by revealing my obsession with Brach’s Pumpkins. These little corn syrup nuggets are a waxy delight, especially when paired with a fine companion like candy corn. YES I LIKE CANDY CORN, ARREST ME. Give me all the mellowcreme, all the time. What even is mellowcreme? Doesn’t matter, I’m eating it. Happy Halloween, bitch.

What Halloween candies make your must-buy list? let us know in the comments!

(image: Scott Olson/Getty Images)

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Author
Chelsea Steiner
Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. An pop culture journalist since 2012, her work has appeared on Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more. Her beats include queer popular culture, film, television, republican clownery, and the unwavering belief that 'The Long Kiss Goodnight' is the greatest movie ever made. She currently resides in sunny Los Angeles, with her husband, 2 sons, and one poorly behaved rescue dog. She is a former roller derby girl and a black belt in Judo, so she is not to be trifled with. She loves the word “Jewess” and wishes more people used it to describe her.

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