Balloon Boy’s Father Claims to Prove There is Life on Mars

Remember the Balloon Boy hoax last year, when a man named Richard Heene and his wife pretended their son had floated away in a balloon, whipped up a media frenzy and got police involved, and then got fined and sent to prison when it turned out to be a hoax?

Well, a newly reformed Richard Heene is on the straight and narrow now, and he is using his newfound freedom to prove that there is life on Mars. He does this by going to random coordinates on the planet on his computer, zoom-enhancing, and speculating as to what he’s seeing. “That looks like a bone to me, and that looks like fur. I don’t know what this thing is. It’s a white thing. I don’t know: A stick, a needle.” Some more choice quotes:

“Right there. That thing. That looks like a head. I see an ear, I see an eye, I see a nose. So then, I selected that picture, and I zoom in again … look at this. I added a little bit of color, some greenish … ear, eye, nose!”

“That looks like a bone. I don’t care what anybody says. No rock can look like that.”

“That looks like an upside-down catfish. I don’t know what that is.”

“Look at that. That could be a pig snout. Maybe that pig snout was connected to that head.”

Remember: 2N234227705EFFATF3P0600R0M1.

(h/t BuzzFeed)

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Robert Quigley