Battlestar Galactica Newbie Recap: Daybreak Parts 1-3, AKA the Series Finale

I’m a sci-fi geek who has never seen Battlestar Galactica. Yes, I know, I know. 2013 (and a little bit 2014) is the year I change that, and I’m blogging as I go.

I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE YELLED AT A SHOW LIKE THIS. I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU. WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU! HOW DARE YOU!

Daybreak (Part 1)

Aka the relatively boring setup episode before everything goes to hell. It’s been four seasons. I know how this show works.

We start off grooving back in flashback land, where Adama’s being told by higher-ups to do something he doesn’t want to do. Meanwhile Baltar’s off in a limo being a premium-grade entitled little shit to Caprica, whom he’s just met. They’re being all grope-y and flirty, and we almost learn what Caprica’s real/fake name is, and holy crap, I just realized we never heard Baltar call her, or Head Six for that matter, by the name she went by pre-genocide. I guess it’s not important. We have enough Six names anyway. Caprica, Sonia, Head Six, Gina, that journalist from back in season one. (WTF happened to her, anyway? That episode was stupid.) It’s enough.

Anywhoodle, in the middle of their macking Baltar gets an urgent call. Turns out his dad tried to stab his home health nurse. Not cool, Papa Baltar! Baltar has to go try and convince the nurse to stay, and as a result Caprica finds herself privy to some father-son bickering. We knew that Baltar has some issues with his home world—it was a backwater bit of nowhere, and Baltar changed his entire identity, up to an including his accent, so he’d be included among the fancy Caprica types—but in this scene we find out that he has some daddy issues, too.

Why am I not surprised?

Elsewhere in flashbacktopia Starbuck meets Lee for the first time when he comes over to have dinner with the ‘buck and her fiancé/his brother. There’s some foreshadowing where Zak ribs Lee about stealing his girlfriend. Roslin, wearing bright, airy clothes and looking like she hasn’t a care in the world, is seen recovering from a baby shower with her sisters, one of whom is pregnant. Later on a pair of police officers inform her that her sisters and father were killed in a drunk driving accident. There’s no crying or asking questions—she just shuts down and asks the officers to leave. Yeah, that’s more the Roslin we know. In a daze, she walks through the park and has a nice shower in the fountain, bystanders looking on wondering who this weird lady is getting all religious metaphor-y while they’re trying to play touch football.

From there we’re back to the present day. Roslin is still dying of cancer. Lee is overseeing the death (basically) of the Galactica. Adama is packing to the sweet, sweet sounds of bagpipe music.

Meanwhile Paula, the non-hippie hippie whose name I still have to look up even though it’s been like a season, chats with Baltar about all the political power they, meaning their cult, has. Head Six agrees with her, telling Baltar that humanity’s final hour is coming and he will be its architect, blah de blah blah. He puts his head in his hands, like he’s not ready to deal with this, thank you very much.

In another flashback we see the second meeting between Baltar and Caprica. The stealth Cylon, determined to wrap Baltar around her little finger and get the access codes to Caprica’s defense systems, breaks into his apartment so she can let him know she moved his dad into the absolute perfect nursing home, ohmygod. Most people would be exceptionally freaked out by this. Like, maybe send a text message asking if you want to have coffee? But they just met, and already Caprica knows Baltar better than that. He has women practically waiting in line to sleep with him. He’s a man who prides himself on his intelligence, so to reel him in one has to intrigue him.

Plus he’s lazy, or at least he hates making an effort when he can have other people do things, so dealing with his dad problem for him can’t hurt. Thus begins their epic manipulative romance.

Back on the Galactica Baltar approaches Lee about giving his cult group a voice in the government. The representative doesn’t even have to be me, he argues, even though if we’re being honest it probably will end up being me. Huh. Funny how that works out!

Lee is all

…because Baltar’s a self-serving asshole with a history of manipulating the system. And he wants to be a handed an official seat in the government? Really? All Baltar’s rhetoric about democracy and the people deserve a voice and we need a new way of thinking is just that: rhetoric. His devotees, as members of the fleet, already have a voice, same as all the non-cult members do. They’re not disenfranchised. This isn’t a theocracy. (Well with Roslin’s prophecies it kinda was, but whatever.) Baltar isn’t out for justice, he’s out for power, even if he’s managed to trick himself into believing otherwise.

Lee calls Baltar on his major personality failings and challenges him to name a single thing he’s done that didn’t benefit him in any way. Which Baltar admits he can’t do.

He gives a shifty little look as he leaves the room, though. What’s he planning?!

Helo has a depressing conversation with Tyrol, who apparently was either caught or turned himself in after helping Boomer escape, ’cause he’s in the brig now. Tyrol’s all “Skinjobs are all the same. They’re just machines, and you can’t trust them. I know that because I created them that way. Waaaaaaah. I’m a monsterrrrrr.”

Oh honey. Get over yourself.

Speaking Boomer, over on the Cylon colony she stands up for Hera, telling Cavil she’s frightened and misses her mom, so maybe that‘s why she hasn’t been eating. Just a thought. But Cavil doesn’t give two figs and is ready to move into the let’s-cut-this-cute-little-kid-open stage.

Oh, and SIMON HAS A LINE. But it’s generic expositionary dialogue. Of course it is.

Back on the Galactica Athena’s lost hope that they can save Hera. Helo tries to convince her otherwise, and I’m inclined to take his side, because he’s Saint Helo. (I do not mean that in a sarcastic, oh-yeah-he’s-just-so-perfect, Lee Adama sense. Helo’s really grown on me. How is he not boring? HOW?!)

Adama’s schlepping around the Galactica when he runs into Hot Dog, who’s coming back from the memorial wall with some pictures to take to the Basetar. See, most of the pics of the dear departed have someone to claim them, but there are still some where no one knows who the subjects are, because whoever put the pictures up have also died. It’s very sad.

Adama, struck by all the poignancy, goes off to stand in a conveniently placed shaft of light in a symbolic doorway. The doge meme isn’t dead quite yet, right?

Meanwhile Starbuck and a comafied Anders are still trying to figure out what the heck’s going on with Hera and those musical notes. Adama visits her and asks whether all that stuff about her having come back from the dead is true. She says it is, and he assures her that it doesn’t matter, because she’s his daughter all the same. Riiiiight in the feels.

There’s an interlude of Anders in flashback land, where he’s telling a reporter that what he likes about pyramid is the precision and the beauty of physics. I know this is some retroactive foreshadowing about Anders being a Cylon, but really, what I got out of it is ANDERS IS A MATH NERD.

And I dig that.

And I also miss Gaeta.

Anders has been doing his hybrid babbling, talking about how they have to “find the perfect world for the end of Kara Thrace.” While we were privy to Anders geeking out about angles, Starbuck and Adama came to some sort of decision about a super-important question they’d ask him. And there’s a DRAMA ZOOM, because every once in a while a show has to get its Supernatural on, OK?

Then we get a random flashback scene with Lee fighting a pigeon. Fine, fine, it’s supposed to highlight how the character’s evolved from drunk irresponsibility pre-series to the über-competent quasi-president he is now. Whatever. It was Lee vs a pigeon. I found this on Blingee and I can’t not use it:

Apparently Adama and Starbuck asked Anders about the location of the Cylon colony, and apparently his babbling self actually answered them, because now Adama’s all ready to charge in with the Galactica and rescue Hera. It’ll almost definitely a be suicide mission: Because of Science Reasons there’s only one way to approach the colony, and that’ll be heavily guarded by everything the Cylons have. Plus there’s the whole thing with the Galactica practically falling apart. But Adama’s determined to do it.

Oh, and RACETRACK IS STILL ALIVE. It comes out that she was locked up after participating in Gaeta’s mutiny (*sob*), but since Adama neeeds all the volunteers he can get for his rescue mission he lets the mutineers out.

There’s a BSG-style emotional scene where Adama gathers everyone on the hangar deck and asks them to decide whether they’re going with him or staying behind. The Final Five side with Adama, as does Caprica. Doc Cottle tries to go, but Adama tells him not to, because the rest of the fleet needs a Doctor. Lee and Starbuck are on-board. Roslin, who earlier got one final flashback about how she’s been a shut-in since her family died and she doesn’t want to go into politics, puts on her wig and leaves the hospital to go with Adama and the rest.

(Side note: She’s been rocking quite the high-quality wigs. Who had them in their luggage after the colonies got nuked?)

It looks for a second as if Baltar’s going to go—he looks at Caprica, almost like he’d go to prove himself to her. It still wouldn’t be that “selfless act” Lee was talking about, but that’s a moot point, because he decides to stay behind.

BALTAR’S GONNA WRECK SOME STUFF, MOTHERFRAKKERS.

Daybreak (Part 2)

Ways in which I did not expect an episode of Battlestar Galactica‘s three-part series finale to begin: Tigh trying to buy Adama a lap dance at a strip club.

I just… I have nothing to say to that.

(Except that Tigh tries to cheap the dancer out of her normal fee and makes this face. It’s pretty wonderful.)

Last episode Adama was offered a desk job by his higher-ups, and this episode Tigh convinces him to take it, even though it’s obvious that Adama’s heart really isn’t in it. The flashback sequences in this trio of episodes are all about their subjects—Adama, Roslin, Starbuck, Baltar, Caprica, Lee—placing themselves on the path they’re destined to be on. When a drunk Adama goes outside, vomits all over himself (lovely), and stares dopily at the stars, we know that the Galactica is where he’s meant to be.

In their own flashback Lee and Starbuck, just having met for the first time, are getting along famously. There’s banter. There’s snarkiness. Zak brings up the Adama Drama between Lee and pops, and Starbuck’s intrigued by it. Later, after a lightweight Zak passes out, Starbuck and Lee proceed to do shots together. There’s a lot of bonding going on.

Back in the present day the human race is preparing to split in two: The majority will wait in safety at the rendezvous point while a smaller number goes off in the Galactica to rescue Hera or die trying. Baltar, who elected to stay behind, is getting his angst on, but Head Six pops up to tell him to cut that jazz out, ’cause he’s doing what God wants him to: Taking charge of mankind and leading it to its end.

That doesn’t sound ominous or anything.

Roslin, meanwhile, is getting ready to go with the suicide mission crew. Doc Cottle gives her enough injections to prolong her life by two days, but after that… well, she’s gonna die. Lee and Helo tell the marines and the Raptor pilots, respectively, about what the rescue mission entails. Adama tells his CIC peeps it’s not safe to use nukes or missiles (~foreshadowing~), so this’ll be a good old fashioned gun battle. The Final Five, for their part, will be helping out by plugging Anders into the Galactica so he can communicate directly with the colony’s hybrid and get them to slow down their shooting.

With Adama, Lee, and Roslin all going to their probable deaths, the fleet needs both a new admiral and a new President. For the former, Adama chooses Hoshi.

And as the new President we get none other than ROMO EFFING LAMPKIN, who doesn’t look too pleased at his new job, but hey, when has he looked pleased?

BACKGROUND CHARACTERS FOR THE WIN!

At the last minute Baltar decides he’s staying to help rescue Hera. Hippie Cult Paula doesn’t approve, but no one really cares about Hippie Cult Paula (too harsh)? Baltar’s selfless act: Achieved.

After one last inspiring speech from Adama the mission begins and the Galactica jumps to right outside the Cylon colony’s front door. Immediately the Galactica gets fired upon big-time, but Anders is able to link up with the hybrids and get them to cool their jets. But the good guys aren’t out of the woods yet. There are still Raiders coming, and the strike team led by Lee still has to get into the colony.

How do they get in? BY USING THE GALACTICA AS A BATTERING RAM.

That works.

Lee’s team and Starbuck’s team, which Athena and Helo are also a part of, storm around the colony looking for Hera, who’s being operated on at this very moment by Simon. Boomer asks if he might want to hit the pause button until the attack’s over, but Simon says nah. I know we’re gonna win, because we have the superior numbers. There’s no possible way this could end badly for me!

Cue Boomer snapping Simon’s neck and running off with Hera.

Oh, and also: Racetrack dies. We don’t see her die, but a rock comes through the window of her Raptor and crushes the head of her copilot Skulls. So yup. Out in space in a ship with a hole in it. She’s a goner. Pause for ABJECT MISERY.

Battlestar Galactica, if anything happens to Hot Dog now SO HELP ME!

Cavil, Simon, and Doral have found the body of the Simon Boomer killed, so they know she’s betrayed them and has Hera. As a result they decide to “go on the offensive” and invade the Galactica. Simon, the group’s Legolas, points out that they should be careful not to kill Hera in the crossfire.

Caprica and Baltar, meanwhile, are waiting on the Galactica with guns to defend the ship from Centurion invaders. Caprica tells Baltar she always wanted to be proud of him, and now she is. It’s a touching moment—when they kiss, it’s probably the first genuine kiss the pair of them have ever shared. Head Six breaks up the emotion by chiming in that “All the pieces are falling into place.”

But wait.

Both Baltar and Caprica can see her!

Head Baltar’s there, and both of them can see him too.

Boomer, carrying Hera, comes across Athena, Starbuck, and Helo. Boomer hands Hera over, but Athena’s not inclined to be too forgiving. Boomer understands that—she says she knows nothing can change the things she did, but they all make choices, and rescuing Hera is her last one.

Then Athena guns her down. Well then.

Lee hasn’t really had much to do this episode aside from run around the colony with his group of marines, hair looking like he’s straight off an ’80s romance novel cover. He meets up with Starbuck’s group and they head back to the Galactica, where Baltar shoots their Centurion guards, thinking they’re bad guys. Caprica figures out what’s going on and physically stops him before he kills any non-machines.

Baltar:

Roslin, who’s been helping out in sickbay, injects herself with her very last dose of medicine. That’s when she hallucinates herself into the opera house and takes off, because I have religious destiny stuff to do! Meanwhile Doral SHOOTS HELO, and oh hell NO you did not! While Athena’s trying to staunch the bleeding Hera runs away, because she’s worse than Carl from The Walking Dead. Helo tells Athena to go after Hera, even though if she leaves his might bleed out.

So now Hera’s running around the Galactica, and Roslin and Athena are trying to find her. Roslin gets to her and shields her from Brother Cavil and his band of merry Centurions, but when she turns around Hera’s run away again. Dammit, Hera. Same as in the opera house vision, Hera comes across Caprica, who picks her up and carries her to Baltar. Then Caprica and Baltar are in their own vision: The one where they saw the Final Five in the opera house. They make their way to front of the opera house, which in non-hallucination-land is the CIC. There they see the Final Five standing together the exact same way they saw them in their vision. Honestly, this whole sequence is striking, but I don’t get the point of it. Did their visions actually lead any of them to this point? Would they not have gotten there anyway?

Brother Cavil (Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.) uses the distraction of a minor explosion to pop up and put a gun on Hera. She represents the future of my species, he explains, and I’m not going to give her up. Baltar explains that she’s the future of humanity and of Cylon(ity) and proceeds to go into prime speech mode, rhapsodizing about how there’s some weird force working through Hera, and whatever it is—Gods, the gods, whatever—it can’t be explained by rational means. But it doesn’t matter, because it exists, and it has the destiny of both species in its hands. Everyone has to work together.

Cool speech, bro. But if this show’s entire explanation for all the crazy stuff that’s been going on—Hera’s musical notes, the shared hallucinations, etc—ends up being nothing more than “God did it!” I swear to a nebulous-yet-powerful supreme being I will break things.

Tigh steps in to offer a less flowery but more practical incentive for the Cylons to back off: Resurrection technology. The Final Five will reinvent it if Cavil gives Hera back and promises to leave humanity in peace forever. Cavil agrees, and both he and Adama order their respective forces to stand down. The episode ends with Cavil assuring Adama he’s as good as his word.

Yeeeeah, no. I have no reason to believe that’s true.

Music break:

Daybreak (Part 3)

The pigeon returneth!

And some other stuff happens.

Turns out Cavil didn’t get a chance not to be true to his word. Each of the Final Five know part of how to make resurrection work, so in order to bring the whole thing together they have to put their hands into hybrid Anders’ goopy bathwater and do a giant Cylon mind meld. When they do that each of the Final Five find out everything about one another… all their dark secrets… including, say, if one of them killed the other’s wife and made it look like a suicide. That sort of thing.

Tyrol has a moment of channeling Vincent D’Onofrio from Full Metal Jacket before he loses his shit, breaking off the mind meld and snapping Tory’s neck. So now Brother Cavil and the bad Cylons are like

and proceed to open fire. Shortly thereafter Cavil, realizing there’s no way he can win, kills himself.

…Even though he knows he can’t resurrect. I understand that he’d rather die than be taken prisoner; without Hera as a bargaining chip there’s no way he’s getting out alive. But still, his death is really abrupt considering he’s been the main antagonist for the past half-season. The last we see of him is a half-second of him going “Ah, frak it” and shooting himself in the head, unnoticed and un-remarked upon by the rest of the characters.

But on the plus side, at the very beginning of this episode one of the Dorals let fly this epic eyeroll upon seeing the corpse of another him. It is, bar none, the best thing in this episode.

The second best thing in this episode: Last episode Racetrack and Skulls were killed (*sob*), but not before they armed their nuclear weapons as a precautionary measure. When a chunk of rock jostles their ship Racetrack’s hand—or, well, the hand of her corpse—comes down on the trigger.

Am I sad that Racetrack died? Yes. Am I pumped that the last thing her character got to do was accidentally nuke the Cylon colony? Hell frakking yeah! Shine bright like a diamond you cynical, wonderful pilot you.

The fact that the colony’s blowing up right next to them is a pretty big reason for the Galactica to GTFO, so Adama orders Starbuck to jump the ship away. Only there’s no time to pull up the rendezvous coordinates, so in a fit of either religious inspiration or I-don’t-know-what-the-hell-else-to-do Starbuck plugs in the notes of Hera’s song—which she already translated into numbers in the hopes of finding some clue as to her identity—into the FTL drive.

Turns out Hera’s song? The song that also woke up the Final Five? Contains the coordinates to Earth.

But… we already found Earth. How are there two? Apparently that question isn’t deemed important enough to answer—even though it’s a pretty glaring question—because it’s never addressed. The characters don’t even realize that they’re on Earth. Once they get there Adama says that they can call it Earth because it represents their hopes and dreams. Really? No one recognizes that the continents look exactly the same? We’re never going to find out what the hell is up with this planet?

And also. Turns out “Starbuck’s an angel” isn’t a stupid placeholder explanation for the big mystery of Starbuck’s identity, but the actual stupid explanation for the big mystery of Starbuck’s identity. What the hell?! There are angels all of a sudden? What, are there Gorgons too? Titans? What are angels even supposed to be in the BSG verse?

We get some flashbacks to Starbuck and Lee’s first meeting, and they’re being all drunk and flirty and Starbuck’s talking about how she’s afraid, not of death, but of being forgotten. Later they almost have sex until they remember, whoops, that’s right, Zak. The implication is that they were meant to be together from the start or something like that, but I don’t even care because it’s all BS at this point, frak it, Starbuck’s a damn angel of all things and IT’S JUST SO FRAKKING STUPID I CAN’T—

Ahem.

The entire fleet lands on Earth, which is nice and verdant instead of nuked to a cinder. Hoshi gives Adama back his Admiral pins and scoots away, because he’s realized that being a main character on this show makes you do or be really stupid things. Turns out Earth is inhabited by prehistoric humans, meaning this is our Earth, where the nuked Earth was Cylon Earth. Not that that clears things up at all.

What’s left of humanity, plus the good Cylons, decide to stay there. But they’re not going to build a city. They’re going to scatter around the globe, acting as super-evolved Jedi Masters to the pre-historic humans and teaching them about language and tools and that sort of thing.

It’s a happy ending, and I like that the characters got that (yes, even Lee). But part of Lee’s whole speech about making a “new start” rubs me the wrong way. It’s the part about passing on the good parts of humanity, not the bad. The bad, in this case, are technology and science. It’s cute and idyllic, but… really? Abandon science and technology? Science and technology are not the bad guys. The way they are used is the bad guy. Will it be impossible to misuse it if it’s not there? Sure. Until generations down the line when humanity evolves again, anyway. But I can’t help imagining Doc Cottle being brought a pneumonia patient and saying “Well, ma’am, I wish I could help you, but some jackasses decided to fly a fleet filled with centuries of advancement in medical technology into the damn sun. Here, have some herbs.”

Romo expresses disbelief that humanity’s willing to leave their “creature comforts” behind, and Lee counters that people are glad to have a new start. After four seasons of everyone and their mother objecting to every single thing the government wants them to do (subtext: The stupid masses don’t know what’s good for them), I’m supposed to believe that no one has an issue with leaving behind such things as blankets and compasses and changes of clothes?

It’s way too convenient an ending. Almost like the writers realized they had only 20 minutes left.

A tearful Starbuck says goodbye to Anders, who musters a brief moment of lucidity after she leaves and says “I’ll see you on the other side.” Then he flies the fleet into the sun. The Cylons have decided to give the Basestar to the Centurions and send them on their merry way. There’s a chance that they might evolve and come back hellbent on vengeance, but Ellen says giving them their freedom will probably be enough to keep that from happening.

There’s another flashback to Adama turning down a desk job because he doesn’t want to have to deal with bureaucratic assholes. I don’t want to deal with this episode anymore.

Roslin’s right at the end of her extended two days of life, so Adama decides to take her up in a Raptor to get a closer look at Earth’s wildlife. She passes away peacefully while he’s talking about the cabin they’re going to build.

Moment of silence for Laura Roslin.

Adama’s excursion also doubles as him permanently going off to be on his own, leaving behind everyone and everything he’s ever known… including his son. Uh-huh. Yes, it was a very tearful goodbye scene between Adama and Lee. But is there any reason Adama couldn’t settle within a few days’ travel of his son? Does he have to go live alone in his cabin of angst and manpain? It’s very contrived. And it’s not even character development when you consider Adama not being there for Lee is kind of his defining characteristic as a father. It’s what all their Adama Llama Drama is based on.

Stupid character ending. Duuuuumb.

Lee and Starbuck say their goodbyes—Starbuck waxes rhapsodic about completing her mission, Lee says he wants to go exploring—before Starbuck literally disappears into thin air. For angel reasons.

We also get a flashback to the aftermath of the GREAT PIGEON BATTLE. And there’s another one of Roslin deciding to help future-President Adar’s campaign. Like I said last episode: People setting off down the paths they were destined for. For Roslin’s that politics. For DRAMA PIGEON (new favorite character), that’s getting away from this mess of an episode.

Athena and Helo walk off into the sunset with their daughter, arguing about who’s going to teach Hera how to hunt. Tigh and Ellen are seen going off together, too. Tyrol…

…wait, do we see Tyrol? There was his shellshocked look after he killed Tory, and then… nothing. Sorry, actor-who-plays-Tyrol. You really got the short end of the stick there.

Head Six and Head Baltar tell Caprica and Baltar that they did what God wanted of them, so now their lives are going to stop with the craziness. We then flash back to their setting-themselves-on-the-path-they-were-destined-for scene: Baltar giving Caprica the codes to get into Caprica’s defense mainframe. He tells her he loves her before backpedalling big-time and playing it cool. In the present day Baltar says he knows a place where they can go and grow some crops, because he knows how do to that and all. CHILDHOOD FARMING KNOWLEDGE TO THE RESCUE.

But there’s still one more Head Six/Head Baltar scene! We flash forward to our present day, 150,000 years after the Galactica arrived on Earth. The pair of hallucinations/angels/not like it matters anyway because we still don’t know anything more about them weave through a bustling Times Square talking about God’s plan, how all of this (robopocalypse, etc.) has happened before but it doesn’t have to happen again, because if a system’s repeated enough some variable, somewhere, is going to change. That, too, is in God’s plan. Baltar remarks that “it” doesn’t like the name God. We also find out that Hera would go on to become “mitochondrial Eve,” or the common ancestor of all of humanity. We end with a montage of robots paired with the sounds of “All Along the Watchtower” and my anguished screaming because that’s it? That’s it?!

General Thoughts/Ranting

Things were looking pretty good in parts one and two. And then part three, the very last episode… wow. What a cop-out. Nothing got explained! Like there being fricking angels of a sudden! And the second Earth. How are there two Earths? Why are there two Earths? What’s so important about getting humanity and Cylons to (our) Earth? I was very careful about trying to avoid spoilers, and I don’t regret doing that, but part of me wishes I’d known in advance that “God did it!” was all we were going to get in terms of an explanation for the coincidences, prophecies, and sometimes hamfisted metaphors I’d fondly eyeroll at (never forget) over the course of the show. Instead of taking those things at face value, I expected—reasonably, I believe—that the writers would actually have something good up their sleeves instead of the nonsensical, quasi-religious mess we got.

I mean, one of the implications of the finale was that whatever higher power is in charge engineered the entire plot of the show, INCLUDING THE DEATHS OF BILLIONS OF PEOPLE ON THE 12 COLONIES AND ORIGINAL EARTH, to get humans and Cylons to our Earth and kickstart evolution there…for some reason. Because all this has happened before and all this has happened again? But that’s meaningless.

It’s frakked up.

There are things about Daybreak that I do like. I like that there was an actual ending, even if said ending was hellaciously dumb. I really like the Galactica divebombing into the colony. But taken as a whole? What a mess. I don’t ask for every little loose end to be tied up, and I don’t need to be spoon-fed. But it’s just plain bad writing to introduce huge plot elements, bathe your viewers in the shock value of them, and then not actually put in the effort of constructing a story around them so they make any sort of damn sense. What is this, Lost? After three and a half seasons of excellent finales, I expected better. Did the chuckleheads responsible for this even have a plan?

Ah, screw it. I’m opening this mother up to comments. Tell me I’m crazy about the finale. Or agree with me. Let’s go wild! I also welcome any general comments about my recaps, positive or negative, though if it’s the latter I ask that you keep it civil, please, because I’m a person with feelings. Wanna gush about Romo Lampkin? I’m here for that. Wanna cry about Gaeta? You know I’m down. I just ask that you please refrain from posting spoilers about The Plan and Blood and Chrome, since those are the subject of my very, very last Battlestar Galactica Newbie Recap, to be posted next week.

It’s almost over.

Former Battlestar Galactica Newbie Recaps can be found here. Have a comment? Hit me up on Twitter.

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