Best Cancer Anime Characters of All Time
Cancers literally only want one thing, and it’s…
Love.
It’s true. Cancers are emotional. Unlike Virgos who chase down intellect, or Capricorns seek the highs of achievement, Cancers crave love and stability in all its forms. What kinds of love? Well, whaddaya got? Romantic love. Familial love. Love of a pet. Cancers love love in all its forms. And what do Cancers want to do once they’ve found love? Go on a grand adventure? Hell no. They want to stay home. Cancers are like little crabs scuttling up and down a beach called life, collecting shells and driftwood and other pretty things so they can take them back and build a little crab shack with their loved-crabs. And when they don’t have that love and stability in their lives, they’re gonna start pinching people with their lil’ crab claws. If they can’t hold someone’s hand, they’re gonna snip it. So to celebrate Cancers, I’m making a list of all the cancers who seem like just the kind of crab you’d want to build a home with.
Spike Spiegel
On the surface, Spike Spiegel doesn’t seem like a cancer at all. He’s adventerous, combative, and keeps his emotions close to the chest. And most of all, he’s homeless. Sure, his ship the Bebop is kind of a home, but when all you do is travel from planet to planet, moon to moon chasing down bounties its gotta be hard to settle down and let your roots grow. On the surface, Spike seems content with a non-Cancer life. He’s always whistling a tune or cracking a joke. But on the inside, I think he’s secretly miserable. Like many of Shinichiro Watanabe’s characters, Spike doesn’t seem to give a crab’s ass whether he lives or dies. Why? Because he lost his love. The only thing that seems to be keeping him going is the glimmer of hope Julia, the only woman he ever loved, is still out there among the stars. Spike tries to make peace with his unpeace. He tries to find comfort in change. But he can’t. Spike doesn’t want adventure or power or riches, he wants to be with Julia. And so he scuttles up and down the beach of the Solar System, searching for the only person he wants to build a little crab shack with. I’d live with you Spike, but I don’t think I’m the crab you want, after all.
Sailor Moon
Sailor Moon’s whole deal is finding love. But unlike some of the more homebody crabs on this list, she actually does want to spread her love across the universe. Sailor Moon is of the belief that every single thing in the universe is worthy of love, even if those things are nasty monsters that are trying to kill her. Like many other Cancers, Sailor Moon is a deeply emotional person, and often cries at the drop of a hat. But in Sailor’s eyes, even hats deserve love, and should never be rudely dropped on the floor under any circumstances. She’s a little crab who is dedicated to her crab family of Sailor Soldiers, and fights alongside them to spread love all over the galaxy and beyond. She’d be the perfect person to build a crab shack with. She could fight any evil thing that tries to mess with a little crab dwelling, because you know those nasty ass seagulls are gonna try.
Tanjiro
Tanjiro is a demon slayer, because fucked with the one thing in a Cancer’s life that you should never, ever fuck with: their family. The demon Muzan apparently didn’t get the memo. Muzan killed Tanjiro’s entire family and then turned his little sister into a demon. So what did Tanjiro do? He vowed to kill every single demon as revenge. But what did you expect? That’s part of his Cancer nature. The only demon Tanjiro won’t kill is his sister (because, you know, she’s family) and has also dedicated is his life to finding a way to turn her human again. Tanjiro goes to the literal ends of the earth to hunt down the demon that orphaned him and his sister, and undergoes brutal training in order to become strong enough to be able to kill Muzan. Now that right there is love. Tanjiro would be another great choice for someone I’d want to build a little crab shack with, because if those nasty ass seagulls come in and kill me, I know that Tanjiro is going to hunt each and everyone one of those bastards down with extreme prejudice.
Moriko Morioka
Moriko Morioka is a quintessential Cancer. Why? Because she’s built her entire life around staying at home. After her quitting her sales job at 24, Moriko Morioka lives as a self described NEET (not engaged in education, employment or training). So what does she do all day? She sits around playing online role playing games, that’s what. And it’s honestly kind of a vibe. But even living in total isolation can’t save her little Cancer heart from its insatiable thirst for love. She does the most Cancer thing ever and falls in love with someone online. It’s adorable. Eventually, after building a little crab community of people she’s met online, she finally starts taking baby scuttles out into the real world again. She starts dating, and eventually she falls in love with someone from the outside world (who may or may not be someone from her online world as well). It’s seriously cute, Who wouldn’t want a build a home with her? She’s happy to curl up and play video games with you all day.
Neji Hyuga
Neji is another Cancer who, on the surface, is all pincers. He seems to go completely against the Cancer “love your family” playbook and is downright cruel to his cousin Hinata. He belittles her and berates her for being weak, and harbors a deep resentment for her throughout the beginning of the series. However, it is revealed that family is the source of all of Neji’s struggles. Neji and Hinata are both members of the Hyuga clan, however, Hinata is a member of the “main house” of the Hyuga, and Neji is a member of the “branch house”. Members of the branch house are marked with a super fucked up cursed seal that makes them servile to the members of the main house. If they go against the wishes of a member of the main house, the cursed seal will activate, causing them terrible pain (with sometimes fatal results). Due to the branch house’s servile position, Neji’s own father was called to sacrifice his life to save a member of the main house. Neji harbors deep resentment for his extended family because of this, as he lost a member of his immediate family because of their wishes. Neji eventually learns to care for his cousin as the series progresses, and eventually sacrifices his own life to save her. I’d build a little crab house with you Neji, as long as you promise to throw yourself to the seagulls so I can run away.
Featured image credit: Sunrise
Have a tip we should know? tips@themarysue.com
