The 13 Best ‘Five Nights at Freddy’s’ Plushies for 2024
My therapist says in order to untraumatize myself from my experiences playing Five Nights at Freddy’s, I need to feel in control over the monsters that terrorized me. What better way than to adopt helpless, harmless plushies of them? As long as they don’t move at night, I can heal!
Freddy Fozbear
Let’s start off easy with Freddy Fozbear. Freddy’s not so bad! Sure he was murdery in the first game, along with the rest of the crew, but in later games he actually becomes your ally! If the rest of the stuffed plushies to decide to come alive and murder me in the night, I know that Freddy will be there to defend me! At least, I hope so. When I look into this plushie’s kind eyes, I THINK I see late game Freddy beneath, but it could be a clever ruse.
Freddy Frostbear
If regular Freddy won’t save me, maybe Freddy Frostbear will? Surely can’t be cold-hearted enough to let possessed plushies tear me to shreds? Surely? He’s got a cool demeanor, yeah, but maybe that’s just so he can hide his warm heart from the other less charitable plushies. Or maybe he’s the cruelest of all? Maybe that coldness didn’t come from being left outside on a snowy January night. Maybe the chill that blues his skin comes from within.
Firework Freddy
Firework Freddy represents the the two things I fear most in this world: possessed animatronics and the American government. With Firework Freddy, I can face both fears! When I look into his eyes, I’m CONVINCED that they are spy cameras and that my own personal FBI agent is watching me from the other side. If he wants to do that, fine, he can tell me if any of these other plushies decide to leave the room and come back with a kitchen knife. I’ll thank him for it.
Springtrap
Springtrap. The child of the rabbit from Monty Python. Look at that evil little face. Those desiccated limbs. That chilling grin. He’s gonna have to get used to smiling at the wall, because there is no way I am letting this thing watch me sleep. Ambush is literally in this thing’s name.
Sun
O Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun. Please don’t murder me. I know you want to. That’s what that smile says. You know, now that I look at his face, the moon half and the sun half don’t look all that murdery when viewed on their own. But together? Nightmarish. Maybe I’ll keep him at a 90 degree angle away from me at all times, flip him around when the sun sets.
VR Freddy
VR Freddy actually looks… pretty harmless. Kinda cool, actually. Like a cyberpunk character that’s gonna take me on a mission to steal a data drive from a criminal corporation. I could be down for that. But he could also totally be setting me up as the one to take the fall. It’s touch and go. I’m gonna stay safe and go with “go”.
Withered Bonnie
What could be worse than regular Bonnie? Bonnie’s half rotted robot corpse. Withered Bonnie is a chilling reminder that even possessed animatronics can die. But unlike people, that doesn’t stop them. And look, her ripped off arm has exposed wires that are perfect for wrapping around my neck and asphyxiating me in the night. Wonderful.
Roxanne Wolf
Roxanne Wolf doesn’t look nearly as menacing as some of the other entries on this list. Just take a gander at those gooey anime eyes! Harmless! So it would seem. Normally I wouldn’t trust a wolf, but this wolf is wearing a crop top. That’s kinda slay. Maybe she passes the vibe check. Just barely. Don’t make me regret this, Roxanne.
Foxy
How did Foxy lose his eye? A career in piracy, most likely. But it’s a trick question, he actually still has both eyes. Why does he cover one? Maybe it’s for the same reason that Kakashi from Naruto covers one of his eyes: to lure enemies into a false sense of security. It’s way easier to run from something with no depth perception. What Foxy doesn’t want me to know is that he has 20/20 vision.
High Score Chica
High Score Chica seems like she’s on my side. After all, she’s telling me that I got a high score! But what was the game? Most Murderable Victim? Did I score higher than everyone else? Lucky me. I guess that I’ll just have to wait for night to fall to find out.
Tie Dye Chica
Tie Dye Chica might be multicolored, but I know that she wishes that she was only one shade: red. Red with the wet, fresh arterial blood of her victims. And that’s “Let’s Eat” bib? Gives me the shivers every time. Such a benign phrase. But I know better. It isn’t cheese pizza or birthday cake on the menu. It’s human flesh. My human flesh.
Dreadbear
You know what? I like the Dreadbear. At least with him I know what I’m getting. He’s not smiling, not pretending, not trying to lure me into a false sense of security. He wears his black heart on his sleeve. If Dreadbear ends up tryign to murder me, I’ll be scared, sure. But there’s one thing I won’t be: surprised. I appreciate the honesty in the hollow yellow pits he tries to pass off as eyes.
The Whole Gang
Why get one Five Nights at Freddy’s character? Why not just grab the animatronic bull by the horns and get the the whole gang? At least this way I can face all of them (almost all of them) at once. No more games. No more running. Just me and five eight inch plushies in a battle to the death. At least their blows will be soft and squishy when they dog pile on top of me in the night. Maybe it will feel like being tickled to death? At this point, that’s the best that I can hope for.
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