Buh-Bye Ron! DeSantis Drops Out, Endorses Trump for President
The Florida governor couldn't rise above his negative charisma and off-putting personality.
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has announced that he’s suspending his campaign for the Republican nomination for president. The one-time frontrunner has seen his poll numbers dwindling across the country and has depleted his $260 million war chest thanks to mismanagement and private jets.
DeSantis announced his withdrawal from the race in a video that was shared on social media. He endorsed Trump and attacked competitor South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley, saying “He has my endorsement because we can’t go back to the old Republican guard of yesteryear, a repackaged form of warmed-over corporatism that Nikki Haley represents.”
While DeSantis finished second in the Iowa Caucus, his polling has cratered in New Hampshire and South Carolina. Despite name recognition, a strong re-election in Florida, and massive donations from deep-pocketed donors, DeSantis was unable to overcome his biggest obstacle: Being Ron DeSantis.
After a glitchy campaign launch on X (formerly Twitter) with Elon Musk, the DeSantis campaign has stumbled across the country. As DeSantis took the national stage, he proved to have negative charisma and zero relatability. Alternately peevish, smug, and deeply unlikeable, DeSantis was too busy fighting with teenagers and spouting transphobic talking points to connect with voters. DeSantis also refused interviews with major news outlets, sticking to right-wing media only.
DeSantis’ inability to look and act like a normal human being dogged him throughout his entire campaign. From his weird laugh to his forced smile, the Florida governor resembled Vincent D’Onofrio’s alien in disguise in Men in Black, or an army of dung beetles disguised in a trenchcoat. DeSantis also refused to criticize Donald Trump, his chief competition, in the race, despite being referred to by Trump as “Meatball Ron” and “Ron DeSanctimonious.”
In addition, DeSantis’ slogan “Make America Florida” failed spectacularly. Clearly, the governor was not aware that the rest of America could see Florida. Most Americans don’t want to live in a covid-riddled swamp state where you can’t get an abortion, acknowledge homosexuality, check out queer books from the library, or acknowledge that slavery was, you know, an atrocity.
If there’s one thing America loves about Florida, it’s Disney World. Unfortunately, DeSantis attacked Disney as well. Way to have your finger on the pulse, my guy.
DeSantis will likely begin hitting the campaign trail for Trump, although that doesn’t seem like much of a value add. He can enjoy a more relaxed primary season, boosting Trump as the former president continues to insult him on the campaign trail.
What does the future hold for Ron DeSantis? The vice presidency seems unlikely given his lack of humanity, but that never stopped Mike Pence! I hope he can sing because someone’s gotta be the breakdancing donut on The Masked Singer next season.
(featured image: Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images)
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