Internet Has a Field Day With Entitled Pick-Up Blog’s Instructions on How to Talk to a Woman Wearing Headphones

To cut to the chase: a really skeezy blog post from a writer on The Modern Man on “how to talk to women wearing headphones” has been making the rounds on the internet as of late, and the entire thing reads like something of a serial killer how-to handbook. The Guardian provided an excellent breakdown, complete with responses to each horridly entitled instruction.

The post even provides an example exchange, or some lines you can use to initiate conversation. The only problem is that each of the lines is so horribly based in assumptions that there’s no way in hell they’d work on an actual human being. The entitlement is absolutely dripping from each word, and it reads something like a badly-done erotic role play from way back in the day. The only thing missing from the written-out exchange is having the example girl, Jessica (gag), twirl her hair around her finger and giggle incessantly.

Women on Twitter have all shared their reactions to the blog post with counter-advice, usually amounting to something like: just don’t hecking do it.

Listen: The only direction anybody should be giving to someone who wants to talk to a woman wearing headphones is that they shouldn’t. Just don’t do it. We’re wearing headphones so we don’t have to deal with the constant onslaught of unsolicited opinions about our bodies or disgusting sexual requests. It doesn’t matter one bit if you think you’re “not like those other guys,” because chances are if you honestly think you’re “not like those other guys,” you actually are exactly like them. Your false kind demeanor belies the fact that you’re after something, especially when you’re working so hard to interject yourself into our daily lives.

One person on Twitter provided an actual helpful instruction, though, one that I feel like I can totally personally co-sign.

So what are you waiting for? Get to work.

(image via Shutterstock/Kseniia Perminova)

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Jessica Lachenal

Jessica Lachenal is a writer who doesn’t talk about herself a lot, so she isn’t quite sure how biographical info panels should work. But here we go anyway. She's the Weekend Editor for The Mary Sue, a Contributing Writer for The Bold Italic (thebolditalic.com), and a Staff Writer for Spinning Platters (spinningplatters.com). She's also been featured in Model View Culture and Frontiers LA magazine, and on Autostraddle. She hopes this has been as awkward for you as it has been for her.

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