Vanity Fair’s New Year’s Resolution Suggestions for Hillary Clinton Are Sexist AF

Vanity Fair’s “The Hive” published an attempt at comedy in the form of a video suggesting some New Year’s resolutions for Hillary Clinton. The thing about comedy, though, is just calling it that doesn’t guarantee it will actually be funny, or that it will be worth putting out into the world.

Here’s what Vanity Fair thinks Hillary Clinton, the Former Secretary of State and the first female presidential candidate nominee for a major party, should take up in the new year.

• Work on the sequel to What Happened. Suggested title: What the Hell Happened. (… No, really, is there a joke in there?)
• Get someone to program her iPhone autofill “so that typing in F doesn’t become ‘form exploratory committee for 2020.'”
• Teach a class on alternate nostril breathing. Because she mentioned that one time in an interview.
• Hike more in the woods. (“How else are you going to meet more unsuspecting hikers?”)
• Take up a new hobby. “Volunteer work, knitting, improv comedy, literally anything that will keep [her] from running again.”
• Put away her James Comey voodoo doll. Because “it’s time to move on.”

In what world is Hillary Clinton not moving on? She’s not the one making inane videos. She’s doing the same things pretty much every former candidate has done in her position: write a book, work on her foundation, and field speculation over whether she’ll run again.

So why is no one telling Bernie Sanders or Joe Biden to take up fucking knitting?

https://twitter.com/Selena_Adera/status/945724832297246720

And again, these Vanity Fair editors can’t even use the “it’s just a joke” defense. Because nothing in that video is anything close to funny.

https://twitter.com/TVietor08/status/945773401544773632

The hashtag #CancelVanityFair is currently trending on Twitter.

In short:

https://twitter.com/PattyArquette/status/945812980939161600

(image: Shutterstock)

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Vivian Kane

Vivian Kane (she/her) is the Senior News Editor at The Mary Sue, where she's been writing about politics and entertainment (and all the ways in which the two overlap) since the dark days of late 2016. Born in San Francisco and radicalized in Los Angeles, she now lives in Kansas City, Missouri, where she gets to put her MFA to use covering the local theatre scene. She is the co-owner of The Pitch, Kansas City’s alt news and culture magazine, alongside her husband, Brock Wilbur, with whom she also shares many cats.

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