Why TikTok Users Are Getting So Heated Over This 11-Year-Old’s Birthday Candles
Recently, TikToker Cecily Bauchmann posted a video of her 11-year-old daughter’s birthday morning. However, what she did after her daughter blew out the candles has left users fuming.
Bauchmann has over 2 million followers on TikTok, where she posts content about her daily life as a mother. While her content is usually harmless grocery hauls and “what I eat in a day” videos, she has been involved in controversy before. Last year, she divided the internet when she revealed she opens and snacks on groceries before checking out. Some users claimed it was considered stealing if she hadn’t paid yet, while others didn’t see the harm in the act since she paid for the groceries she ate. However, this recent controversy is quite different as the internet is united in its belief that she made a grave mistake while celebrating her daughter’s birthday.
Cecily Bauchmann daughter’s birthday video controversy explained
Bauchmann has since deleted the video of her daughter’s birthday morning due to backlash, but it has continued circulating TikTok via stitches and reposts. The video starts innocently enough with the family singing happy birthday to her 11-year-old daughter, who appears to be the oldest child. As they finish singing, the girl quickly uses her hand to block one of her younger siblings from blowing out her candles before blowing them out herself. However, the candle blowing doesn’t end there.
The daughter steps to the side as the mom lines up all three of her younger siblings, relighting the candles so that each of them can have a turn blowing them out while she cheers them on. The girl’s smile quickly fades as she continues standing there quietly, watching all of her siblings blow out her candles. It didn’t take long for the video to go viral as TikTok users expressed their fury. Their strong reactions are understandable because their hearts broke for the little girl while watching that video. Most of us remember what it’s like to be a child and how little things like blowing out the candles on a cake meant so much to us. Many couldn’t get over watching the little girl’s smile and the gleam in her eye fade as she was denied having just one simple, special moment to herself on her birthday.
Some users even captured the unbelievable moment with parodies where the birthday child gets pushed out of the way as soon as her candles are blown out so that every family member can get their turn.
A lot of users have been very critical of Bauchmann. While she made a mistake, she likely thought she was doing the right thing. She thought she was making all the children happy by involving them in the candle blowing, but she just failed to realize that making her younger children happy at the expense of her daughter’s happiness is counterintuitive. Fortunately, though, her video is sparking a lot of good conversations, encouraging parents to teach their kids birthday etiquette and discouraging them from hyper-fixing on equality. Many users pointed out how the mother missed an excellent opportunity to teach her children very basic birthday etiquette by reminding them that they don’t blow out the candles if it’s not their birthday.
It’s not just about etiquette, though. Learning to celebrate their sister by blowing out her candles even if they don’t get to participate is a small but important step to learning to be happy for other people and accepting that not every special occasion will be about them. Meanwhile, insisting that the younger children don’t interfere with their sister’s special moment will teach the oldest daughter that she doesn’t have to be a “people-pleaser” and sacrifice her happiness for her siblings. It’s perfectly acceptable for her to want and have things to herself.
The video struck a chord with me on a personal level because I come from a family with six children, and my family did this same candle-blowing routine. Since I requested an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen every year, my cake would actually be melted by the time we got through my whole line of siblings. However, birthday equality went even further than that. For example, if some of us collected more candy from the birthday piñata, my mother would take our bags and redistribute the candy so we all got the same amount. We were even given limited options for what birthday meal or treat we could choose because it had to be something everyone liked. This was only the tip of the iceberg in my parent’s hyper-fixation on “equality.”
In my family, the hyper-fixation on equality never actually created much genuine equality and instead led to a lack of individuality and lots of jealousy and sibling rivalry. I’m not saying that the Bauchmann situation is this severe, but it’s a testimony of how the well-meaning idea of complete inclusion and equality among siblings at all times can really snowball. Hopefully, Bauchmann not only considers feedback from her viewers but also considers her daughter’s feelings and perspective on the incident.
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