Things We Saw Today: Choose Your Own Jane Austen Adventure in This Hilarious Twitter Thread

The hilarious women behind the popular Twitter @Drunk_Austen (which includes a blog and a podcast for all your port wine and corsetry needs) have posted an epic game thread that is guaranteed to entertain any die-hard Austen fan. The game is simple, and based off of the life mission of Mrs. Bennet. Like Mrs. Bennet, you must marry off your five daughters, provided that the prospective spouses aren’t A) despised or B) poor:

The thread then spins off to all the different possibilities your daughters could encounter on the way to wedded bliss:

The thread delves into the myriad options that Austen heroines had for securing a husband or falling from social grace. Even the most seemingly benign options can carry grave consequences. A trip to Bath with a friend could lead to a disgraceful elopement.

A horseback ride in the rain could lead to a life-threatening bout of illness. Do you fetch her yourself or send your next oldest daughter? Do you apply leeches or cold compresses? THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS.

If you’re an Austen nerd you’ll no doubt pick up all the references, and if you’re lucky enough you’ll end up with one of the winning endings. Here’s our favorite:

Well done, Drunk Austen. We’ll see you all at Netherfield.

(via Twitter, image: BBC)

• Steve Urkel is joining the new animated Scooby Doo series, Scooby-Doo and Guess Who. No word yet on whether or not Stefan Urquell will be in attendance. (via io9)
• Due to U.S. sanctions, gamers in Iran and Syria no longer have access to League of Legends. (via Polygon)
• Rumor has it that Ezra Miller will start filming The Flash after wrapping production on Fantastic Beasts 3. (via CBR)
• Get into the spirit of Pride Month with this queer-friendly cover of Frozen‘s “Let it Go”:
See more

move over Elsa, it’s Cut To The Freezing Friday! HAPPY PRIDE!
🥳🌈❄️ @idinamenzel #pride #loveislove pic.twitter.com/fGhkDJa2Lu

— Mark Kanemura (@mKiK808) June 21, 2019

• Here’s a review of the third and final season of FX’s trippy X-Men series Legion. (via Collider)
• Enjoy a preview of Michael Giacchino’s score for Spider-Man: Far From Home. (via /Film)
• Happy 30th anniversary to Tim Burton’s 1989 Batman, and to this bonkers Prince sequence especially:

How are you spending your Sunday, Mary Suevians?

Want more stories like this? Become a subscriber and support the site!

—The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—

Have a tip we should know? tips@themarysue.com

Author

Close

Chelsea Steiner

Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. An pop culture journalist since 2012, her work has appeared on Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more. Her beats include queer popular culture, film, television, republican clownery, and the unwavering belief that 'The Long Kiss Goodnight' is the greatest movie ever made. She currently resides in sunny Los Angeles, with her husband, 2 sons, and one poorly behaved rescue dog. She is a former roller derby girl and a black belt in Judo, so she is not to be trifled with. She loves the word “Jewess” and wishes more people used it to describe her.

twitter