Donald Trump’s “Council to Reopen America” Reads Like a Sick Joke

At Donald Trump’s press briefing Friday, he announced a plan to form an advisory council for reopening parts of the American economy that have been shuttered due to the coronavirus pandemic.

As NPR described it:

“I’m going to surround myself with the greatest minds,” [Trump] said in another marathon news conference at the White House. “We’re going to make a decision, and hopefully, it’s going to be the right decision.”

Trump and advisers must balance economic, social, public health and other priorities. The president was asked what metrics he would use in recommending when some places might begin to attempt to get back to normal.

“The metrics right here,” Trump said, pointing to his temple.

Trump announced his team today and, well, they’re just about what you would expect coming from those metrics.

Yup, the people he’s chosen to balance our national economy with our health and safety are as follows (left to right, top to bottom):

–Trump’s Chief of Staff as of about eight days ago

–His daughter

–His son-in-law

–The producer of Suicide Squad

–The former chief economist for Bear Stearns

—The guy behind Trump’s nationalistic trade policy

–A guy who, in January of 2020, said that the coronavirus outbreak in China would “accelerate the return of jobs to North America” and for whom “Controversies” is the longest section on his Wikipedia page.

Don’t worry, everybody! We’re in great hands. Not the hands of doctors, scientists, or public health experts of any kind, but I’m sure this will be … something.

(image: Al Drago – Pool/Getty Images)

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Vivian Kane

Vivian Kane (she/her) is the Senior News Editor at The Mary Sue, where she's been writing about politics and entertainment (and all the ways in which the two overlap) since the dark days of late 2016. Born in San Francisco and radicalized in Los Angeles, she now lives in Kansas City, Missouri, where she gets to put her MFA to use covering the local theatre scene. She is the co-owner of The Pitch, Kansas City’s alt news and culture magazine, alongside her husband, Brock Wilbur, with whom she also shares many cats.

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