Everyone Just Really Wants To Believe Donald Trump Got Arrested

Just to prove that the right doesn’t have the market cornered on conspiracy theories, #Resistance Twitter has been going all in trying to come up with a satisfying explanation for a pair of golf shoes.

Sunday evening, Donald Trump flew into Dulles Airport just outside of Washington D.C. There’s video of him exiting the plane and being escorted into a black SUV. What caught people’s attention was the fact that he showed up in a white polo shirt and white shoes—what people are taking to be his golfing attire, giving the impression that this trip might have been unscheduled.

As far as Trump fanfic (wait, what’s the opposite of fanfic? Hatefic?) goes, this is a pretty good prompt. The leading theories seem to be that he was either whisked away to receive emergency medical care at Walter Reed Medical Center—you know, the place where he got the kind of lifesaving COVID treatment that 99.9% of us didn’t have access to at the time—or else he was being taken into custody on account of his many (alleged) crimes.

Obviously, Trump’s arrest would be a dream come true. And we have plenty of reason to get our hopes up, from the FBI’s ongoing investigation into his reported possession of classified documents to the fact that just last week, we got the pleasure of seeing Steve Bannon in handcuffs, albeit for crimes unrelated to Trump.

But we have been here so many times before. One has to be seriously committed to maintaining their naiveté to believe Trump is going to be held accountable for anything anymore. If you’re able to still believe that, well, I’m frankly pretty jealous and more power to you.

I also hate to burst more bubbles but people online have pointed out that it’s not actually unusual for Trump to travel in this sort of outfit.

For his part, Trump posted on Truth Social Monday, saying he’s in D.C. “working,” which is about as believable as the idea that he was turning himself into law enforcement.

(image: Cliff Hawkins/Getty Images)

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Vivian Kane

Vivian Kane (she/her) is the Senior News Editor at The Mary Sue, where she's been writing about politics and entertainment (and all the ways in which the two overlap) since the dark days of late 2016. Born in San Francisco and radicalized in Los Angeles, she now lives in Kansas City, Missouri, where she gets to put her MFA to use covering the local theatre scene. She is the co-owner of The Pitch, Kansas City’s alt news and culture magazine, alongside her husband, Brock Wilbur, with whom she also shares many cats.

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