How to Wash Squishmallows, Explained
Why do you need to wash your Squishmallow? How did it get dirty in the first place? What is it covered in? The tears from your ugly crying at sad anime? Snot? We don’t judge. At least, we try not to.
How to cleanse your innocent Squishmallow from your filthy impurities…
First, read the Squishmallow’s care tag. Just because you wallow in your own filth doesn’t mean your little squishy wants to do the same. According to the manufacturer, Squishmallows should not be washed in the washing machine. This is because the washing machine can rearrange their squishy little guts in a way that will make them less squishable. Seeing as squishability is their most marketed attribute, you’d be putting your mallow out of a job.
However, according many Squishmallow connoisseurs, your filthy little friend actually can be washed in the washer with certain precautions. This is all hush hush of course and a proceed-at-your-own-risk situation. If you want everything to be above board, it’s best to stick to hand washing and air drying. If you’re going to little your little guy brave the washer, stick them in a pillowcase first and then wash them in cold water. Set the washing machine to DELICATE. Your little Squishmallow isn’t strong enough to handle the rigors of a heavy wash. It needs tender love and care.
The recommended way to clean a Squishmallow is by hand washing. Spot cleaning, to be specific. When you notice a stain on your mallow, the first move is to get a wet cloth and dab at the stain. If that doesn’t work to cleanse your mallow’s body and soul, use a damp cloth but add a little bit of dish soap and blot the stain again. If the stain is very stubborn, use a little bit of stain remover and then place it in the washing machine, giving you time to question your Squishmallow parenting skills.
After spot-treating the impurities (or gently machine washing) DO NOT place your Squishmallow in the dryer. The scorching heat and tumbling tumbly thing will damage your Squishmallow. Would you throw your wet CHILD in a dryer? No, you would do what any sensible parent would, you would hang them up to dry.
Air dry your Squishmallow on a clothesline in the sun. If you don’t have a clothesline or can’t hang dry it, pat the little fella down with a towel. Then hug it and tell it you’re sorry.
(featured image: JazzIRT/Getty Images/Squishmallows/TMS)
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