Kyrsten Sinema Announces Retirement as Useless Corporate Senate Shill Who Accomplished Nothing

America’s least favorite Republican-in-spirit senator is calling it quits. Arizona Sen. Kyrsten Sinema announced her retirement from the U.S. Senate, where she spent 4 years betraying her constituents and kneecapping the democratic agenda.

Sinema made the announcement in a video posted to social media, where she decried the end of compromise in politics. Sinema says,

“The only political victories that matter these days are symbolic, attacking your opponents on cable news or social media. Compromise is a dirty word, … I believe in my approach. But, it’s not what America wants right now.” She continued, “Because I choose civility, understanding, listening, working together to get stuff done, I will leave the Senate at the end of this year.”

Okay, but what exactly did Sinema get done in the Senate? Her tenure will be remembered not by what she did, but by what she failed to do: destroy the filibuster, secure abortion rights, raise the federal minimum wage, among other failures. The only thing Sinema accomplished was outing herself as a toxic narcissist who deceived her supporters to make herself wealthy. She represents everything that is wrong with politics, and history will judge her harshly.

Perhaps we will remember her unprofessional fashion choices or how her advisory council resigned en masse in protest. But I will remember her as the cowardly clown who ran and hid from protesters in a public bathroom after they called her out for betraying her voters. Don’t let the door hit you on your poorly dressed ass, Senator.

Sinema’s announcement comes after the unpopular senator failed to raise significant funds for a re-election campaign. She was being primaried by Democratic House Rep. Ruben Gallego, who now emerges as the Democratic frontrunner for her Senate seat. Gallego will face off against failed Republican gubernatorial candidate and MAGA supporter Kari Lake.

Many took to social media to bid farewell to Sinema:

(featured image: Win McNamee/Getty Images)

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Chelsea Steiner

Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. An pop culture journalist since 2012, her work has appeared on Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more. Her beats include queer popular culture, film, television, republican clownery, and the unwavering belief that 'The Long Kiss Goodnight' is the greatest movie ever made. She currently resides in sunny Los Angeles, with her husband, 2 sons, and one poorly behaved rescue dog. She is a former roller derby girl and a black belt in Judo, so she is not to be trifled with. She loves the word “Jewess” and wishes more people used it to describe her.

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