For About a Thousand Dollars You Can Have a 45 Minute Mile High Club Experience Without the Discomfort of the Actual Mile High Club
“You come with a smile on your face, and you leave with a bigger smile on your face.”
For those of you who feel like getting a little frisky mid-flight but don’t want to deal with the whole “trying to have sex in that small ass airplane bathroom” aspect of the Mile High Club, there’s Love Cloud. While the Las Vegas company does technically provide other romantic packages, we all know it’s the Mile High aspect that garners the most “wait, are you serious right now?” reactions.
So yes, it’s true that Love Cloud will give you the ability to have sex on a plane without the headache of trying to have sex on a plane, though I suppose some would argue that the entire point of the Mile High Club is to have sex in cramped quarters and worry about getting caught. Still, if you want to avoid all that, Love Cloud’s got you covered… for about a thousand dollars.
What is Love Cloud?
I first found out about Love Cloud through this New York Times article by Shane O’Neill. O’Neill spoke with Love Cloud’s founder, Andy Johnson, who is also a pilot. When talking about his business he said, and I quote, “You come with a smile on your face, and you leave with a bigger smile on your face.”
The Love Cloud website describes it as follows:
Love Cloud is a romantic scenic air tour company that is located in Las Vegas. Whether it is for celebrating a wedding, anniversary, birthday, Valentine’s Day, special occasion, or just for fun, Love Cloud helps couples fly in a twin-engine pressurized aircraft around the skies of Las Vegas and allow them to reach new heights by enjoying romantic flights over Las Vegas.
The airline offers romantic dinner flights, wedding flights, vow renewal flights, and, of course, the Mile High Club experience. Daytime flights will tour the likes of the Red Rock Canyon and the Hoover Dam while nighttime flights circle the Vegas strip so you can see all of those dazzling lights – assuming you’re paying attention to what’s going on outside, wink wink nudge nudge.
According to O’Neill, Love Cloud mostly books couples, but it has also accommodated groups of up to four – they just charge an additional fee of $200 per person if you increase the number of passengers. Johnson told O’Neill about some of his most memorable couples, including a pair that showed up dressed as a pilot and flight attendant.
Because why the hell not.
“We help keep people from divorcing, I’ll tell you that right now,” said Johnson.
About that Mile High Club experience
Despite offering tamer things like dinners and vow renewals, Johnson told O’Neill that the Mile High Club is the most popular package that his business provides. O’Neill wrote the following:
Those who buy the Mile High Club Flight will find a plane decked out with a twin mattress on the floor and several pillows, all ensconced in red satin. A curtain separates the passengers from the pilot, who wears noise-canceling headphones and remains in the cockpit for the duration of the flight. Yes, the plane and its bedding are cleaned after each trip.
It sounds like you get the entire plane to yourself and aren’t relegated to having to sneak into the bathroom or, I dunno, cover yourselves with a blanket and hope the flight attendant doesn’t walk by to offer peanuts.
There are three kinds of packages you can get with the Mile High Club (Silver, Gold, and Platinum), the difference being how long of a flight you get.
If 45 minutes is enough time to fly the sexual skies, you can get the Silver. Gold gives you a full hour, while Platinum gives you an hour and a half. The Silver package costs $995 with Gold costing $1,095 and Platinum costing $1,495.
O’Neill spoke with Frelima Howard, a customer who had received the package from a friend as a late wedding gift. “My husband and I had joined the Mile High Club before, so to be able to do it privately was great,” she said. “It was really nice and exclusive and private.”
Her husband, Keith Howard, said that the flight wasn’t long enough, which his wife agreed with. “I never got dressed faster in my life,” she said.
While we aren’t told which package the couple sprung for, they are expressing the very concern I had when I first heard about this. Assuming one is willing to spend the money for a more comfortable Mile High Club experience, what does one do if they’re in the middle of [redacted] and run out of time?
Everything else Love Cloud offers
If you’re not interested in the service for its sexual offerings, you can take a romantic flight that includes meals and champagne. You can even use Love Cloud to get married, as wedding packages include the couple, the minister, and up to one or two guests. The wedding package costs $1,195 (which includes the fee for the minister) and is a 45-minute flight that comes with champagne, a bouquet for the bride, and a boutonniere for the groom.
Since it’s a wedding, you’re able to call and customize the experience, from working in a photographer to even including a DJ.
Dinner packages start at $1,295 and are an hour long. You’ll be given your own personal pilot and flight attendant who serves two entries and a complimentary bottle of wine. You can also get the $1,595 package which includes a longer flight (an hour and a half), an appetizer, two entrees, two desserts, and a complimentary bottle of wine.
All of Love Cloud’s packages can have a limo ride added for $300 that’ll take you to and from the airport. The limo comes with champagne, roses, and premium chocolate.
O’Neill spoke with one of Love Cloud’s customers, Chris Gutierrez Lopez, who surprised his partner with a dinner flight. “I was in trouble with my partner, so I had to make sure it was more for him than me,” Lopez said. “That’s why I got the romantic package rather than the mile high.” According to Lopez, the two were served a three-course meal from Mezzo Bistro, who provides all the food for the dinner flights. “When we finally got into the airplane, he was smiling ear to ear,” said Lopez. “Next time it’s mile-high.”
Love Cloud: A Redemption Arc for Andy Johnson
According to O’Neill, Love Cloud’s owner is working on expanding the business with his business partner, Tony Blake. The two are looking at Los Angeles as a second location for the business and even joked about it becoming a reality TV show. “I mean, you can’t make this stuff up, man,” said Johnson. “We’ve got a lot of good material.”
In news I didn’t expect to read about in regards to an airline that lets you have sex on board its planes, Love Cloud is a bit of a redemption arc for its owner.
According to court records, Mr. Johnson’s pilot’s license was temporarily suspended in 2009 by the Federal Aviation Administration after improper aircraft certifications related to Tidewater in 2007 and 2008. His license was revoked in 2011 for flying during his suspension.
In 2012, after a minor plane accident that occurred during his revocation, Mr. Johnson pleaded guilty to a charge of reckless operation of an aircraft and served 20 days in federal prison. He ended up filing for bankruptcy and moving back in with his parents.
In 2014, Johnson moved to Vegas, where he got Love Cloud off the ground. “He had a very tough go of it, and here we are 10 years later,” Blake said. “He’s really turned a corner and he’s a better man for it.”
I guess what happens in Vegas reshapes the direction of your entire life.
(Image: 20th Century Fox)
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