Things We Saw Today: Moby Apologizes to Natalie Portman … Kind Of

After previously doubling down on his claims that he dated Natalie Portman, Moby has issued an apology via Instagram. It turns out that the musician (or his handlers) realized that trying to convince the world you dated an 18-year old when you were 33 is maybe not the best look.

Moby’s apology is eloquent and well written, but he seems to be only apologizing for including Portman in his book without giving her a heads up, which is not what offended Portman. It was his repeated insistence that they dated, followed by photos of them together as some kind of “proof.”

In an interview, Portman denied ever dating Moby, saying “I was a fan and went to one of his shows when I had just graduated,” she said. “When we met after the show, he said, ‘let’s be friends’. He was on tour and I was working, shooting a film, so we only hung out a handful of times before I realised that this was an older man who was interested in me in a way that felt inappropriate.”

Moby did end his apology by writing, “Also I accept that given the dynamic of our almost 14 year age difference I absolutely should’ve acted more responsibly and respectfully when Natalie and I first met almost 20 years ago.”

Here’s the thing about creepy dudes: they are like Pokémon. With enough energy and self reflection, they can grow and and undergo a metamorphosis into a more enlightened person. Or they can just stay stuck in the mud like a bunch of squirtles (just kidding, squirtles are perfect). Here’s hoping Moby learns something from this entire debacle.

(via Jezebel, image: Randy Shropshire/Getty Images for Environmental Media Association)

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Enjoy this long weekend, Mary Suevians!

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Chelsea Steiner

Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. An pop culture journalist since 2012, her work has appeared on Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more. Her beats include queer popular culture, film, television, republican clownery, and the unwavering belief that 'The Long Kiss Goodnight' is the greatest movie ever made. She currently resides in sunny Los Angeles, with her husband, 2 sons, and one poorly behaved rescue dog. She is a former roller derby girl and a black belt in Judo, so she is not to be trifled with. She loves the word “Jewess” and wishes more people used it to describe her.

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