Don’t Go See ‘Morbius’ With This Guy
Ever see an ad online and just know that if you replied to it you’d probably die? Well, that’s what this post from a guy searching for a “female” to see Morbius with him feels like. The Craigslist ad reads like something out of a horror novel and not the horror novel that is the movie Morbius itself.
There is not a single line here that feels safe. Whether or not it is real remains to be seen but there are enough people out theret like this poster that I’m going to assume there’s at least some kind of truth to it.
“Hello may I introduce myself my name is Liam but you can call me Severin,” it starts, so off to the races right from the jump. “A little bit about me I have diverse interests and don’t live a ‘stereotype’ life. Do I have your attention now? I have two tickets to see Morbius in Imax at 9:15 at Veranda luxe cinema. My previous engagement dropped out at the last minute (grrr..) but If thou wouldst like to see it with me please reply to this ad.”
So basically, how I’m reading this is that if you went to this movie with Liam/Severin, you might end up having Morbius as the last thing you ever saw …
If it weren’t bad enough that the first half of this ad is incredibly creepy, Liam/Severin also has very specific requirements for the woman who does reply! “No thick girls and no one taller than 5’6 need reply,” he states. “No men obviously you will not get a response. Lets not waste our time. I’m waiting…….” Liam is waiting but frankly, he should (and hopefully will) keep on waiting because this is red flag central.
There’s just so much about this that SCREAMS “run” and while I worry about being too mean, I think about the kind of guy who would write this sort of ad and suddenly my reasoning seems completely sound because Liam/Severin would be the kind of guy who explained the history of Michael Morbius at you the entire movie and then expected something from you for being tortured by him for the less than two-hour runtime. And that does, in fact, sound like torture.
Liam/Severin and his murder IMAX
Twitter rightfully mocked the ad because again, it is a red flag parade, but also Liam/Severin didn’t want thick girls or tall girls or a combination of a thick tall girl for whatever reason he might have that is probably horrific or just simply problematic and rooted in his own insecurities.
What I suppose is the most interesting thing about this is that Liam/Severin didn’t want to go to see Morbius alone. At that point, you might have to just pay someone to go see this movie with you because I don’t think you’ll find anyone who fits your “requirements” willing to go to see Morbius.
I hope no one answered Liam/Severin and if they did, can you, like, drop a note saying you’re okay?
(image: Marvel Entertainment)
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