[NSFW] Why is There a ‘Sex Chess’ Game?
I always thought chess wasn't horny enough.
NSFW warning: The following article contains sexually explicit images.
There are a lot of games out there that could go for a sexy spin. Poker? Yes. Checkers? Sure. Magic: The Gathering? Evidently, Magic fans want that too. But each of these pale in comparison to the horniest game of all time: Chess. Look no further than the game’s recent competitive anal beads controversy.
Sexy chess games are, unfortunately, not very common. But the aptly titled developer Evil Boobs Cult is changing this. After releasing its immensely popular Sex with the Devil, we now have the team’s take on fucking chess. Introducing: Sex Chess.
“Hell is about to get invaded and the sinners trapped inside are about to be freed. But the clueless liberators had no idea how cunning the Devil is. This time, the war between Light and Darkness will be waged not on the battlefield, but on a chess board,” the game’s Steam Store page reads. “Take on the role of a hellish BDSM practitioner, the Devil’s most important henchman, and crush the leader of the Light Forces in a six round duel on the chessboard.”
Things get a bit confusing from here, as the game’s promo video says the player actually needs to win seven rounds in order to beat the game, not six. But who cares. It’s Sex Chess baby! The rules are out the window.
To Evil Boobs Cult’s credit, Sex Chess isn’t just a 2D chess experience with the occasional nipple involved. The game features an entire chess board filled with sexy demonic dominatrixes duking it out with their heavenly counterparts, complete with 3D death scenes similar to the iconic Battle Chess of late ’80s computer gaming yore. It’s not really clear when the violence ends and the sex starts, but the devs do promise that your matches will eventually “turn into phantasmagoric, mind-blowing art house parties.” This includes plenty of animated sex scenes correlating with the game’s pieces, from cunnilingus to hair-pullingly rough doggy style, so expect plenty of kinky encounters between well-endowed angel men and topless demon girls.
There’s even online multiplayer planned, so if you’d like to fuck your friends in chess, you can do that too. I’m not sure how many people will play Sex Chess competitively, but for casual Sex Chess, sure, there are worse one-handed Friday night events you could engage in. Granted, I don’t expect to hear about many couples meeting while playing Sex Chess.
Originally planned for yesterday, Sex Chess was delayed hours before launch because the game’s “technical specialist is living in a war zone,” according to the developers. Ongoing shelling and lost power prevented the team from receiving the game’s release copy, and the game is now set to go live Nov. 10. Evil Boobs Cult has offered 100 free Sex Chess Steam codes as an apology for the delay, but all of them have already been redeemed.
Hopefully things look better for the week ahead, because Sex Chess sounds like one of the Steam games you can play this winter.
(Featured image: Evil Boobs Cult, Twitter. Remix by Ana Valens)
Have a tip we should know? tips@themarysue.com
