Rand Paul, Who Delayed a Bill for COVID-19 Relief, Announces He Has the Virus

Rand Paul, the second worst senator from the great state of Kentucky, has announced that he has tested positive for COVID-19. The senator made the announcement via Twitter, where he declared that he is asymptomatic and will self quarantine as advised. Paul is the first senator to test positive for the virus, and he joins House Reps. Mario Diaz-Balart, R-Fla., and Ben McAdams, D-Utah, who have also tested positive for the coronavirus.

Paul’s diagnosis can only be described as an epic case of karmic retribution. Just last week, Paul single-handedly delayed the vote on H.R.6201, the Families First Coronavirus Response Act. The bill provides paid sick leave, free coronavirus testing, food assistance, and expanded unemployment benefits.

Paul held up the voting by adding a doomed amendment to the bill, which called on the president to terminate military operations in Afghanistan. Senate minority leader Chuck Schumer called the amendment “a colossal waste of time.” The amendment was voted down, and the bill passed in the Senate with only 8 senators voting against it, including Paul.

But blocking bills with bad faith amendments is a Rand Paul signature move. The senator did the same thing when he blocked the 9/11 victims bill in 2019.

Now, fellow GOP senators are scrambling to protect themselves after Paul’s diagnosis. According to reports, Paul was seen at the Senate gym and in swimming in the pool Sunday morning. He has also joined his colleagues at various lunches. One republican senator was quoted as saying, “This is a different ballgame now.”

Given Paul’s close proximity to the other lawmakers and their advanced age, tensions are running high. Sen. Mitt Romney said “All the senators are going to seek medical advice as to what action we should take to make sure that we don’t in any way spread this virus ourselves … We had a lunch together with Rand, and hope he’s doing very well, but we have to determine whether any of us should self-quarantine as a result of being in the same room.”

Given Rand Paul’s callous behavior and his history of being the worst, many took to social media to revel in the Senator’s schadenfreude:

Best of luck to the senators who swam, worked out, and lunched alongside Rand Paul. Must be nice to have that sweet sweet government healthcare and access to testing that your constituents lack. And, as always, a friendly a reminder to register to vote BY MAIL and get these monsters out of office.

(via CNN, image: Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

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Chelsea Steiner

Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. An pop culture journalist since 2012, her work has appeared on Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more. Her beats include queer popular culture, film, television, republican clownery, and the unwavering belief that 'The Long Kiss Goodnight' is the greatest movie ever made. She currently resides in sunny Los Angeles, with her husband, 2 sons, and one poorly behaved rescue dog. She is a former roller derby girl and a black belt in Judo, so she is not to be trifled with. She loves the word “Jewess” and wishes more people used it to describe her.

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