Savor the Vast Emptiness of Space with Coca-Cola Starlight
Be honest: is this just leftover Tab?
Humans have long pondered questions about the vast mysteries of outer space. Is there intelligent life out there? Does the universe have an end, or does it stretch on into infinity? What happens when you enter a black hole? And, most importantly, what does space taste like?
It’s a question that the good folks at Coca-Cola are seeking to answer with their new limited edition flavor, Coca-Cola Starlight. The new flavor is “inspired by space” and purportedly has “notes reminiscent of stargazing around a campfire, as well as a cooling sensation that evokes the feeling of a cold journey to space.” So … s’mores with a hint of mint? Fans on YouTube have described Starlight as having a sweeter flavor, with notes of chocolate and graham cracker.
The new flavor is also red, which may mean it’s more in line with a red cream soda flavoring or a Mountain Dew Code Red. In a press release, Coca-Cola said that Starlight “aims to bring space to life through a simple sip, capturing some of the mystery and essence of what we love about what lies beyond our atmosphere.”
Starlight is the latest in a long and storied history of experimental flavors from Coca-Cola. Who could forget the Coca-Cola Coffee flavors, which tasted like battery acid, or the overwhelming artificial sweetness of Vanilla Orange Coke Zero?
Coca-Cola keeps rolling out novel flavors, with diminishing returns. After all, they’ve already created the world’s most popular soft drink, AND the world’s most popular diet soft drink with the iconic Diet Coke. Can Coca-Cola not rest on their laurels and enjoy the carbonated bliss they’ve delivered to billions of customers? Must they weep, for there are no more worlds to conquor?
As a Diet Coke addict, I do not care for varietals of God’s perfect beverage. True Diet Cokeheads know that the beverage is delicious and perfect as is. Who needs flavors? Diet Coke already has a flavor, and that flavor is CHEMICALS and it’s perfect. Why must we keep reinventing the wheel?
Did we learn NOTHING from iconic soda flop New Coke?
Coca-Cola Starlight will launch next week in regular and zero sugar. The launch will be accompanied by a holographic concert by Ava Max (who?), who previously performed via Roblox (why?) which you can watch by scanning a QR code on any bottle of the new beverage.
Some folks have already sampled the new flavor, and are sharing their thoughts on social media:
Will you be trying Coca-Cola Starlight? What do you think space tastes like? Let us know in the comments!
(image: Coca-Cola)
—The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—
Have a tip we should know? tips@themarysue.com
