The Internet Is Having a Field Day with Jeff Sessions’ Testimony
We are all Sen. Angus King.
Oh hey, are you watching Jeff Session’s testimony? We are—between laughcrying and talking about dumpster fires and alcohol—and the internet is watching too. Here’re some of our favorite reactions so far.
Imagine if Hillary Clinton, Sally Yates, or Cecile Richards had raised their voices while giving congressional testimony
I M A G I N E
— laura olin (@lauraolin) June 13, 2017
Yes, IMAGINE. Imagine is a woman had grown snappish and harsh and raised her voice at a Senator questioning them. If Hillary Clinton had done so—and remember when she was forced to endure marathon, multi-hour grilling?—we’d still be watching loops of her “emotional” reaction. Fox News would likely create a whole separate channel just to play it 24/7. But that didn’t happen when these women were questioned. They kept their calm and cool.
If I was casting a racist for a movie and #JeffSessions walked in, I’d dismiss him for being too on the nose.
— Travon Free (@Travon) June 13, 2017
Same.
#JeffSessions on Kislyak: “I dont recall that…it’s conceivable…I just don’t remember…I could say that I possibly had a meeting.” #Damn
— Jeffrey Wright (@jfreewright) June 13, 2017
Jeff Sessions sure does seem to have a lot of trouble remembering things. He’s mentioned trying to “wrack his brain” so many times, which makes the process of trying to recall things sound really torturous and difficult. I’m not sure that memory works like that.
It was inevitable: as soon as #JeffSessions started testifying “Keebler Elf” and “Foghorn Leghorn” started trending 😂#SessionsHearing
— Jonathan Riley (@JonRiley7) June 13, 2017
If #JeffSessions incoherent nonsense isn’t evidence of his dishonesty, it’s proof that he’s unwell to the point of being unfit to serve.
— Lauren Duca (@laurenduca) June 13, 2017
#JeffSessions looks so uncomfortable. Someone get him a white hood. #SessionsHearing
— Andrea Chalupa (@AndreaChalupa) June 13, 2017
:flame emoji:
#JeffSessions‘s day has come. Unfortunately, that day was in 1858.
— Abaddon (@BacchusFan) June 13, 2017
Did somebody forget to give Bilbo Bigot his second breakfast? #JeffSessions pic.twitter.com/7D5BqI1KQv
— Imani Gandy (@AngryBlackLady) June 13, 2017
my deah colleagues, the senatuh from Minnesota, that wily ol’ junebug, perambulated and prestidigitaged in his remahks, leavin me flustahed
— Simon Maloy (@SimonMaloy) June 13, 2017
Sessions tried to blame Senator Al Franken’s “rambling” question for confusing him, which is why he lied under oath, or something.
Bilbo Bigot wins the day; every other nickname for Sessions can go home.
Advanced look at #JeffSessions post-hearing after he accidentally testifies to committing treason in the #SessionsHearing: pic.twitter.com/sLuZZwBBxE
— TrumpsTaxes (@TrumpsTaxes) June 13, 2017
A beautiful look into the future.
But there’s also this. Don’t forget that Senate Republicans are literally trying to pass their healthcare bill and destroy Obamacare in the dead of night, without any hearings or allowing for amendments:
Seriously nothing related to #JeffSessions matters. Please go schedule your mammograms & dental exams & therapy sessions now while you can.
— Grace Parra (@GraceParra360) June 13, 2017
As sensational as all of this Trump/Russia cloak and dagger treason is, there is very real harm in the pipeline that will negatively affect the lives of millions of Americans so that the rich can get a tax break. It’s hard for me to type that out and come to grips with the fact that our country has grown so craven, but I just have to click back and look at our spluttering, obfuscating Attorney General Jeff Sessions to be reminded of how bad things are.
(image: screengrab)
Want more stories like this? Become a subscriber and support the site!
—The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—
Have a tip we should know? tips@themarysue.com
