‘She has to provide for herself’: American men and Russian men have wildly different attitudes about providing for their wives
A TikTok video has gone viral because it gives a glimpse into the wildly different attitudes Russian and American men have toward providing for their wives.
The number of households with two full-time working parents has been steadily increasing in America. As a country, we should have moved past the idea of traditional gender roles where the woman must be a housewife and the husband provides. However, there continues to be pushback from conservatives who are angered that women aren’t taking on more “traditional” roles. Men from Harrison Butker to Elon Musk have taken to shaming women who choose to focus on their careers and receive an education instead of raising children. What’s strange is that women are frequently shamed for not sticking to their “traditional” roles, but no one really seems to talk about how content men were to quickly drop their traditional roles of being the breadwinner.
The problem is that while more and more men expect their wives to contribute financially, they don’t understand that this means men must contribute to the household and child-rearing. There are several famous ” traditional” influencers, such as Matt & Abby and Ballerina Farm, who share their lives and reveal that the wives contribute financially by doing podcasts, TikToks, or farming and are still expected to also do all or most of the cooking, cleaning, and caring for their children while the men just work. Given the growing concerns over men expecting women to work and take care of the household, it’s not surprising a TikTok comparing Russian and American men went viral.
Why TikTok is obsessed with this American men vs. Russian men video
Recently, World Opinions posted a video comparing how American men and Russian men responded to the question of whether they would provide for their wives. Obviously, the small number of interviewees means this one video doesn’t reflect American/Russian men’s attitudes as a whole. However, the trend that arose was still interesting.
Every Russian man interviewed confirmed they would provide for their wives, while all American men said they would not. It wasn’t just the answers that caught viewers’ attention, but these men’s attitudes. All the Russian men answered the question as if they were surprised even to be asked it because, of course, they’d provide for their wives. Meanwhile, the American men seemed shocked that anyone would suggest that they provide for their wives because why would they ever do that?
Some of the Russians expressed they’d provide for their wives because they “ideally” would like them to dedicate 100% of their time to their children and household. However, one man even said he’d provide for her simply if she were “comfortable” with that arrangement. Meanwhile, the Americans were concerned about, “What’s she doing while I’m working?” Others stated their wives had to provide for themselves because they were adults, while some just stated, “She has to provide for herself,” without even explaining their reasoning.
The video seemingly struck a chord with viewers, receiving over 24 million views and numerous parodies and commentaries. Most users praised the Russian men’s responses. One user criticized how American men talk about wanting their wives to be “feminine” but essentially force them to be in their “masculine” because they’re doing all the “heavy lifting” in the relationship. He pointed out that there has to be some benefit to the woman in a relationship. Another user, who was raised in Russia, confirmed that her father had a very different mindset from American men, including understanding that having a “loving, supportive” woman in his life was a “privilege” he earned by ensuring she was always taken care of.
Haley Kalil also parodied the video, poking fun at American men’s whiny attitude when questioned about providing for their wives.
A lot of commenters claimed that the Russian men appeared more “manly” or showed higher “testosterone” than American men. However, there’s no one definition of masculinity, so I would argue that what people were seeing wasn’t manliness but maturity. The Russian men didn’t try to make things complicated or get caught up about what their wives would do for them in return. They understand that the only real components that matter in this scenario are if they have enough money to provide and if being provided for is what their wives want. Their reasonable thought process was, “If I have enough to provide for her, and it makes her happy and comfortable, why wouldn’t I do it?”
However, the American men added all these other components to the simple scenario, questioning what the women would be doing, worrying about themselves, and wondering what was in it for them. It’s not wrong for men to not want to be the sole breadwinners or to be unable to. What is wrong, though, is having an ugly, childish attitude where you’d refuse to provide for someone even if you had the means and knew it would make them happy just because you think if you have to work, they have to do it, too. So many TikTok users were 100% correct in pointing out that the problem is that American men don’t understand that having a wonderful woman in their lives is a privilege and not a right. Maybe they don’t have to be the sole breadwinners, but they’d better be doing something to earn having a woman in their lives.
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