Stephen Miller’s Spray-On Hair Distracts From His Terrible Policies Which Are Trash

Senior Trump adviser and Gollum impersonator Stephen Miller appeared on the CBS news program Face the Nation to discuss immigration and border security. Miller backed up Trump’s threats of a government shut-down over funding the border wall, saying “We’re going to do whatever is necessary to build the border wall to stop this ongoing crisis of illegal immigration.”

But Miller’s hateful policies quickly took a backseat to another pressing issue at the border of his scalp and his forehead, namely a caravan of hastily applied spray-on hair to his balding pate. Watch out Donald Trump, Stephen Miller is gunning for the Most Absurd Hair in the White House award.

Here’s the thing: making fun of a person based on their appearance is not a good look. It’s punching down, claiming the lowest hanging fruit to mock someone for something entirely out of their control. Frankly, it’s something Trump would do (and has done repeatedly). We should all strive to be better than that.

However, when the person in question is an odious little twerp who has engineered some of the most vile racist policies of the Trump administration, our limits are tested. And when said person decides to appear on national television with obviously spray-on hair, we’re left with no other choice but to ruthlessly mock his disastrous attempt at simulated hair growth. We never said we were saints, y’all.

Here are some of Twitter’s best responses to Miller’s spray-on hair:

Stephen Miller is 33. Apparently hatred and and fascism can really age a man.

(image: screencap)

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Chelsea Steiner

Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. An pop culture journalist since 2012, her work has appeared on Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more. Her beats include queer popular culture, film, television, republican clownery, and the unwavering belief that 'The Long Kiss Goodnight' is the greatest movie ever made. She currently resides in sunny Los Angeles, with her husband, 2 sons, and one poorly behaved rescue dog. She is a former roller derby girl and a black belt in Judo, so she is not to be trifled with. She loves the word “Jewess” and wishes more people used it to describe her.

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