The Big Baby’s Guide To Watching Horror This Spooky Season
I’ve historically been a big baby about horror movies. Sure, I’ve seen a few when the premise seems interesting, or when I’m forced to by friends. But when I do watch them, I often can’t sleep that night, or many nights after. And it isn’t just certain types of horror movies either. I’m equally disturbed by gore as I am by psychological horror.
Carrie made 12-year-old me scared of my own period, as well as my own home, which was filled with Catholic iconography. And Freddy Kreuger ruined boiler rooms and basements for me to this day.
Still, there are plenty of horror movies that I’ve seen and enjoyed, despite my inevitable big-baby response. I know it’s a genre filled with beloved classics, as well as lots of fun trash. And as a film fan, I don’t want to write off an entire genre as “not for me.”
So, I’ve decided that for the month of October, I’m going to explore the horror genre, and maybe desensitize myself, by watching one horror movie I’ve never seen each day. BUT, I’m likely going to watch them under very specific circumstances to do what I can to protect my sleep.
If you’re also a Big Baby when it comes to scary movies, here’s my horror-viewing protocol:
Watch scary movies in the daytime with the lights on
This is something you generally have to fight for as a Big Baby. Especially if you want to watch a scary movie with friends or family. After all, people usually have “Movie Nights,” not “Movie Days,” and horror fans always seem insistent on watching horror flicks at night (or at least in the dark) for ambiance or whatever. But if you’re a Big Baby making the choice to watch a horror movie, do it on your own terms. Throw it on at like, two in the afternoon, open the blinds, and make sure there’s a visible light source in every room and corridor in your dwelling. After all, you don’t wanna get stuck having to go to the bathroom halfway through the movie only to have to move from a well-lit room to a darker, shadowy hallway.
Watch a half-hour comedy before the scary flick
Your body instinctively knows a horror movie is looming and might already be tensing up. Ease it into viewing mode by watching a comedy you enjoy first. And not a “comedy” like The Bear, which is tense as hell, but like an actual ha-ha comedy. Something like Bojack Horseman, Insecure, or an older sitcom like Friends or The King of Queens. Something funny and easily digestible, but that requires your brain to be at least a little bit on since you’re prepping to watch a longer film afterward.
Watch a half-hour animated show afterward as a palate cleanser
Okay, now you’re all riled up from having watched the scary movie. Time to wind down with pure comfort viewing. I recommend a sweet animated series so that you can just snuggle up and decompress from whatever violence, gore, and horror you just experienced. Shows like The Dragon Prince, Steven Universe, The Owl House, or Avatar: The Last Airbender should do the trick. If animated series aren’t your thing, the half-hour Netflix offering Old Enough! about young children running errands as a rite of passage in Japan is pure, concentrated adorable.
Make your scary viewing a social event
If your loved ones truly love you, they will watch a horror movie with you with the lights on during the day. I, for example, will be roping my wife into my 31-day horror-fest. Especially since several of my selections are films she owns. However, if you live alone and can’t rope in someone IRL, you can also connect with folks online! Maybe watch with someone alongside you on FaceTime. Take the opportunity to do a live stream on IG, TikTok, or Twitch and chat with folks as you watch, or live-tweet on X. Making your horror viewing a social event will take some of the edge off. Hell, why do you think I’m making my 31-day horror desensitization project a public affair by sharing it with you?
Become a film critic, even if you aren’t one professionally
As soon as the film is over, immediately assign the film a “grade” and give it a one-line review. I have the pleasure of doing this for outlets like TMS, and getting into my analytical/critical brain helps me keep the scaries at bay. Even if you’re not a professional pop culture journalist, you can do the same on social media, by keeping a movie journal or texting your “review” to a friend. Letterboxd was made for moments like this.
Hopefully, some of these tips will help ease the tension if you’re a Big Baby like me and need some hand-holding when approaching horror.
Here are my personal horror selections, which I narrowed down based on recommendations from friends, family, and TMS colleagues, in the order I’ll be viewing them starting October 1:
- M3GAN
- Train to Busan
- Hereditary
- Midsommar
- X
- Who Invited Them
- The Descent
- Smile
- Ginger Snaps
- Julia’s Eyes
- Saw
- Blacula
- Friday the 13th
- Cronos
- The Curse of La Llorona
- Scream 5
- Tigers Are Not Afraid
- Huesera
- The Orphanage
- The Babadook
- Slumber Party Massacre
- Nightmare on Elm Street: Dream Warriors
- Freaks
- The Creature From the Black Lagoon
- The Fly
- Piggy
- Attachment
- Jennifer’s Body
- Hellraiser
- The Last House on the Left
- Re-Animator
Some seem like campy horror while others seem legitimately terrifying. Some are older classics, while others are more modern offerings. And they run the gamut from gore to psychological, to supernatural to thriller. However, I’ll be watching all of these movies for the first time. If you’d like to keep up with my viewing throughout October, I’ll likely be posting about it either on Instagram or on TikTok. I’ll definitely be posting my one-line reviews here at TMS at the beginning of November.
Wish me luck! And sleep!
(featured image: Universal Pictures)
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