‘The least qualified’: Trump’s Secretary of the Navy has no Navy experience
The LEAST qualified, you say? Au contraire, may I introduce you to the Secretary of Education with no classroom experience who lied about having an education degree? What about the Intelligence Chair who accidentally parroted Russian propaganda? What about the man who dumped a dead bear cub in Central Park and his appointment to public health? When it comes to “least qualified” Trump’s Secretary of the Navy is facing stiff competition.
“It is my great honor to announce John Phelan as our next United States Secretary of the Navy!” said Trump in a statement to the American people, to which the American people responded “who the f*ck is John Phelan?” John Phelan, case you didn’t know, is Republican megadonor and art collector. He has no military experience, and he’s going to run the Navy.
The. Navy.
John Phelan is a financier, a fancy job title that implies he throws money around like teens do with raw eggs on Mischief Night. He heads a Palm Beach-based private investment firm called Rugger Management and once worked for billionaire Michal Dell. Despite his office being located on a beach, it’s unknown if he’s ever actually been on a boat. I’m smelling “yacht” here, but I could be wrong.
Paul Rieckhoff, founder of Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America, is actually veteran of the U.S. armed forces. He himself is leagues more qualified than Phelan simply by virtue of putting on the uniform. But, as Rieckhoff points out, when donor money talks, Trump listens, then gives it a government job. Phelan is just another cog in the most inept political machine ever created. An administrative rogue’s gallery each more professionally and morally under-qualified than the last.
“His Record of Success speaks for itself – A true Champion of American Enterprise and Ingenuity!” says Trump, to which we all respond in unison “WHAT RECORD!?!?!?!” The last success that Phelan was able to claim was that he and his former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader wife were named a “top art collectors” by ArtNews. I didn’t even know that a person could be a “top” art collector? What does that mean? You just bought more paintings than the other rich assholes? Are we really just making up more awards for rich people now?
So get this, if Phelan is confirmed, he’ll be the first person in 15 years to be appointed head of the Navy with no military experience. I don’t know what’s more shocking, that this isn’t the first time this has happened or that it’s happening again. According to Military Times, twenty out of the 26 people who served as Navy Secretary in the last 70 years had military experience, meaning that the Navy was helmed by six people who also had no experience at all. At least Phelan can count himself lucky to stand in such undistinguished company.
As the Secretary of the Navy, Phelan will be responsible for overseeing 900,000 service members and a $210 billion budget. He will be replacing Carlos Del Toro, a man who has had over 20 years experience in the Navy and has served several tours at sea. Would that I could be a fly on the wall when Del Toro hands Phelan the position, I can just imagine him whispering “you’re cooked” to the financier now.
Have a tip we should know? tips@themarysue.com
