‘This man didn’t invent anything’: LOL, Elon Musk’s massive Tesla payday was blocked yet again
Elon Musk. If I never have to type this grifter’s name again it will be too soon. Once hailed as technological hero and now lived long enough to see himself become the villain, Musk has descended into Lex Luthor levels of moral turpitude. Except at least ol’ Lex can say that he actually invented something, a claim to fame that Musk, for all his billions, can’t quite afford to make.
Musk is attempting to celebrate his non-achievements by awarding himself an unprecedentedly large pay package from Tesla, a multibillion dollar deal that a judge has, once again, struck down. Kathaleen St. Jude McCormick denied Musk and his attorneys’ request to throw out her previous ruling that rescinded the multibillion dollar pay package, meaning that Elon Musk will be forced to content himself with the billions that he already possesses.
The lawsuit came by way of a Tesla stock owner who wasn’t happy with Musk’s self-award, no doubt seeing it as a misuse of the company’s money and a breach of Musk’s fiduciary duties to shareholders. According to McCormick’s ruling, Musk and a group of yes-men engaged in a legally dubious negotiation that awarded Musk a horde of Tesla assets that would have made even Smaug that Dragon jealous. How much are we talking here? At the time the deal was struck in 2018, the package was valued at around $56 billion depending on Tesla stock prices. Pair that with the billions that Musk already owns and you’ve got one very rich asshole on your hands. I can’t help but wonder who these sham negotiators were that Musk met with? I’m picturing Musk negotiating the terms with his own reflections of a comically large bathroom mirror, then peeling off a face-mask like a snake shedding its skin – Patrick Bateman style. I’d expect nothing less.
Musk even got flack from people inside of his own political party, because let’s face it, NOBODY wants to watch an already rich man get richer. I don’t care if you’re Mother Theresa, that’s gonna grind some gears. Republicans Against Trump, an organization whose ideology is exactly what’s written on the tin, was quick to repost the news of Musk’s pay-package defeat, no doubt reveling in a sense of schadenfreude. That deserves a little bipartisan nod from across the isle.
Another user was quick to label Musk as the man who “didn’t invent anything” when it came to Tesla’s product. In fact, Musk didn’t even found that company. That honor belongs to Martin Eberhard and Marc Tarpenning, the original creators of the company. Musk was rather an early investor in the company, using the money he earned from PayPal (another company he didn’t found, that was Max Levchin) to buy his way in and become Tesla’s largest shareholder.
When it comes to things Musk actually invented, all we can say for certain is that he programed a video game called Blastar when he was a tween. Musk isn’t an inventor, he is an investor. His best idea was to latch on to the people who already had ideas and made his billions injecting cash into their inventions. While investment is a necessary part of the start-up process, and is in no small part responsible for a company’s success, it’s a far cry from inventing something. While Musk can claim to be a genius who deserves a billion dollar pay package for his “contributions” to humanity, it’s not hard to look behind the curtain to see what he really is: a glorified finance bro.
Have a tip we should know? tips@themarysue.com
