New Twilight Book’s Pallbearing Werewolves Show Incorrect Coffin-Carrying Protocol

Allow us to explain:

This is a shot from a London bookstore yesterday, when copies of Stephanie Meyer‘s new short novel set in the Twilight universe were delivered to the store… by werewolf.  Shirtless, barefoot, cosmetically muddied werewolves, carrying a coffin full of books that will be “kept under guard before fans can get their hands on them.”  The book goes on sale at midnight EST today.

Obviously, our biggest problem with this is that they are totally the worst pallbearers ever.

Come on guys.  The very first tip on eHow’s How to Be a Pallbearer page is “Dress in a simple black suit or dress. The more conservative, the better.” Could you have at least cleaned up a bit?  Also, the coffin is supposed to be carried everywhere feet first, and I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t let it tip like that.

Also, if I keep focusing on pallbearer etiquette, I can keep from thinking too hard about how if someone got six scantily clad, muddy, barefoot women to carry a bestselling novel into a bookstore people would flip out.  I mean, hopefully, right?

Also I can keep from focusing on the pictures of these guys, the coffin, and the 13-year-old who won the store’s competition to “be one of the first people to get the book.”

LALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU UNCOMFORTABLE SEXUAL/SOCIAL UNDERTONES LALA.

(via The Coventry Telegraph.)