Twin Peaks Newbie Recap: “Laura’s Secret Diary” & “The Orchid’s Curse”
Episode 11: “Laura’s Secret Diary”
Leland is being questioned by Agent Cooper and Sheriff Harry but waves his right to an attorney and… admits to killing Jacques, believing he was Laura’s killer. Andy speaks to Dr. Hayward about his sperm, deciding he wants them tested again. And Dr. Hayward asks for a sample Right. Now. So Andy goes to work but runs into Lucy on his way while carrying a copy of Flesh World. And as if that wasn’t great enough, after he produces his simple, it goes flying across the floor when he knocks into someone else.
At the hotel, Benjamin finds out M.T. Wentz, some famous travel writer is coming to Twin Peaks and it’s their job to impress him to get a good write up. But no one knows what he or she looks like. Jean Renault is waiting for Benjamin in his office to show him their “home video” of Audrey and asks for Agent Cooper to bring the ransom to him. Benjamin actually does tell Agent Cooper about Audrey and says the ransom is $125,000.
Hank and Norma find out about this Wentz person too and want to make the R&R look better. Donna meets up with Harold again and he admits to having Laura’s diary. He reads her an entry about Donna. Awkward. She suggests giving it to the Sheriff, he says no, he’s read it cover to cover and anyway. Obviously.
At the station Andy and Lucy argue. Agent Cooper suggests letting it all out. They went out for over a year, but took a break, that’s when she went out with Dick. She doesn’t know what she wants, OK! Agent Cooper lets Sheriff Harry in on the situation and asks for a favor. He wants to borrow a Book House Boy. Harry agrees.
A man in a big cowboy hat comes into the R&R, Hank and Nora think he’s Wentz. In another booth, Maddy meets with Donna to talk about what happened with James. Donna tells her about Harold having the secret diary and that they need to steal it. While the man is in the restroom, Hank goes for his wallet and finds an ID which reads Daryl Lodwick, a District Attorney.
Josie shows off some of her new lingerie to Sheriff Harry and she acts offended he suspects her of the arson job. They wind up making time on the couch, she asks him to tear her clothes… and someone is watching at the window!!! It’s the Asian man from the hotel.
Judge Clinton Sternwood shows up at the station and comforts Lucy. Agent Cooper is introduced. Dick shows up to apologize to Lucy during which he gives her a bunch of money for an abortion. She lets him know what she thinks of that idea.
The Tri-county Lumber Queen Semifinals are happening at the hotel. LOL. And Wentz has maybe arrived? It’s a person in disguise for sure. Oh my dear god I think it’s Catherine.
At the Roadhouse, Agent Cooper waits for his Book House Boy… who turns out to be Sheriff Harry! Why are they not in a hurry about finding Audrey?? Like seriously. Agent Cooper has now seen the video of her tied up. Make with the haste! At the R&R Hank is woken by a knock, no one there but suddenly, Jonathan! They have a pretty half-assed fight and just when it seems Jonathan has the jump on him he grabs his bloody hand and says, “Blood brother, next time I take your head off.” WHUUUAAAAAA?
Episode 12: “The Orchid’s Curse”
Upon waking, Agent Cooper starts giving Diane notes. He was eating one of his ear plugs while dreaming.
At Leo’s a salesman is explaining adaptive equipment to Shelley and Bobby. The man, Pinkle, seems to be in on the scam with him. And while Shelley and Bobby are out of the room, he gets attacked by his own power lift. The pre-trial hearing is at… the Roadhouse?? Why not at town hall? DA Daryl Lodwick states his case, Sheriff Harry speaks on behalf of Leland, and Andy is drawing a courtroom sketch of the back of Leland’s head. Leland released but told to remain in town.
Donna brings a meal to Harold and says she’ll tell him her life story if she can read Laura’s diary. He suggests reading it to her instead so it doesn’t leave his house. OMG HE HAS A SECRET DRAWER IN HIS BOOKCASE!!!!!!!! He keeps all the info on everyone he talks to there.
“No.”
CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY. She mentions her dad delivered her but tries diverting attention away from herself by asking him where he’s from. He tells her he grew up in Boston. She suddenly grabs the diary from him and says she’s going to take it outside, trying to lure him out too. He steps out and has a seizure or some kind of fit.
In court on another case, evidence of Leo’s brain activity is presented, citing minimal activity. Lodwick wants a trial for Laura’s murder. Agent Cooper, Sheriff Harry, and the Judge have a side meeting at the bar. Judge decides no trial and Leo should be sent home. Reminder that Agent Cooper has only been in town 12 days which seems unbelievable.
Nadine is home from the hospital and still thinks she’s in high school. We find out Jacoby is recuperating in Hawaii. Nadine goes to get drinks from the fridge and PULLS THE DOOR RIGHT OFF LIKE SHE’S SHE-HULK.
Maddy and Donna plan to break into Harold’s to get the diary from his secret shelf. At One Eyed Jacks, Jean is getting strapped to an Auto-Stabber 3000. At the station, still no temp, so Andy is taking down messages on many post-it notes. He calls the doc and finds out his sperm is fine again! Agent Cooper and Sheriff Harry go over a map of Jacks when Hawk arrives to let them know he still can’t find the One Armed Man but found more drugs at the place he was staying. Hawk also looks really sad to be left out of their secret plans.
At the R&R Maddy is trying to get coffee to go and James is there. He follows her because she’s acting super suspicious. Donna is already at Harold’s telling him a story about her and Laura hanging out with a few older guys. Harold shows Donna his orchids. They kiss.
Meanwhile, Agent Cooper and Sheriff Harry sneak up to Jacks and… the owls are watching! Harry what the shit?! He grabs the guard’s balls, puts in a ball in his mouth, and covers with tape. Jean and Blackly plan to kill Audrey with an overdose of drugs, Hank is watching them.
Agent Cooper has split off from him and grabs Blacky’s sister Nancy who takes him to Audrey. There’s a quick struggle, he knocks her out, and then he cuts Audrey loose. While Hank is keeping watch he sees Jean kill Blacky with his Auto-Stabber 3000! He then immediately sees Hank, shoots at him, misses, and disappears.
Agent Cooper and Sheriff Harry make a run for it when they find themselves blocked by another guard… come on HAWK! HAWK! HAWK!
YESSSSSSSS!
He saves the day! Hank sees them leave, calls Benjamin to tell him but Jean catches him while he still has the DA identification. So that should be fun to try and wriggle out of next time.
Maddy is having issues finding the secret drawer and makes too much noise. Harold sees. He runs at them and asks, “Want to know the ultimate secret? Laura wanted to know. The secret of knowing who killed you.” Annnnnd drags a garden tool down his face. Oh dear.
[Editor’s Note: You can read the rest of my Twin Peaks newbie recaps here.]
(captioned screecaps courtesy of TwinPeaksCaptioned.tumblr.com)
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