Twin Peaks Newbie Recap: “The Condemned Woman” & “Wounds and Scars”
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[Editor’s Note: Catch up on the rest of my Twin Peaks newbie recaps here!]
Episode 23: “The Condemned Woman”
Agent Cooper is listening to the same tape from the end OH SHIT BILLY ZANNEEEEE! Ahem. Oh, Sheriff Harry is listening to the tape with Agent Cooper. Peter is called in to help with the “game.” He’s currently at home making breakfast faces for Andrew which is freaking adorable.
Hank walks into the police station and is all, “so I broke parole, no big deal!” Uh, you also tried to kill someone, they remind him and so Sheriff Harry is changing him with the attempted murder of Leo. He attempts to get out of it by saying he has info on Andrew’s murder. Sheriff wants nothing of it. “You’re through, Hank.” He also insinuates it’s Josie so Hawk kicks out his crutch. Hah! In a conversation with Agent Cooper, Rosenfield confirms the bullets are the same. Josie is the one who shot him. :(
Audrey tries giving a business idea to the concierge who doesn’t want to help her? It was a bit of a confusing interaction. She’s basically the owner, you think he’d be nicer to her. BILLY ZANE!!!!!
Nadine tells Big Ed she and Mike are in love and just in case he didn’t get the message, “We’re breaking up.”
Agent Cooper visits Josie to ask about Seattle as Catherine listens in. She won’t give him anything so he tells her to be at the station tonight or else he’ll have to arrest her. Catherine says Eckhardt wants to see her alone. She probably should have taken the opportunity to tell Agent Cooper Andrew was alive. Oh well. Catherine takes out a book from the shelf, grabs keys, and Josie grabs the gun she left behind. DUN! DUN! DUN!
Benjamin is feeling MUCH better after his recent ordeal and is now wearing a track suit and eating celery. He refuses liquor too! BILLY ZANE arrives. John Justice Wheeler is his actual name which we will never speak again. Benjamin calls Bobby his “Executive Assistant Bob” and a sudden chill races down my spine. He also gives some background info on BILLY ZANE — he gave him money for an investment years ago and now wants him to return the favor. His new plan is to save the pine weasel from becoming extinct. It will also curb the Ghostwood development. Oh and he might also run for the senate.
Leo is making arrows in the woods for Windom who tells him nature is cruel. Ok then. Hank is stewing in his cell when Norma comes to visit to ask for divorce. He does the song and dance, says he’s going into therapy, but “do me one last favor, help me get out of here?” No, Hank, no. Norma tells him, “I’d rather be his whore than your wife.”
James meets Donna in a secluded spot for a picnic. He went to the police to answer their questions and won’t be charged but Evelyn will stand trial and he’ll be a witness. They have a conversation about their relationship in which James is basically
Sheriff Harry comes to find Josie, Catherine says she took her car without asking and took a lot of things with her. They think she’s at the Great Northern to see an “old friend.” At the hotel, Eckhardt meets Andrew in the elevator, which he stops so they can have a chat. He places the blame on not being dead on Josie and blabs about her relationship with Sheriff Harry.
Benjamin, BILLY ZANE, and Audrey are having dinner. He helps bankrupt or failing businesses then turns them around for profit. He also helps the environment. The impending love-birds get some alone time when Benjamin has to go find out why the chef tried to stab Jerry. They have a bit of terse banter and then she reminds him she’s only 18. !!! No one asked anything to demand that declaration, Audrey, GEEZ.
Donna meets Shelly at the Roadhouse, she also got a note! Audrey comes by and they piece together their notes. Windom looks on. And nothing happens. At the hotel, Agent Cooper is practicing fly fishing when he gets a call from Catherine who tells him Josie is in Echkhardt’s suite. He takes his gun out of the drawer and races over only to hear a struggle and a gun shot. He bursts in to find them in bed together, Eckhardt gets up with a shot to the torso, while Josie looks passed out? No,suddenly Josie is up again! She admits to shooting him, says she knew this day would come, she can’t go to jail. Sheriff Harry comes in. She… has a heart attack? She’s dead. And then!
We get an odd recap in the form of Agent Cooper talking to Diane. He has a premonition of happiness and says Josie might have died of fear.
Sheriff Harry is… not in a good way.
Oh hey, Heather Graham! She’s Norma’s sister Annie. Also at the R&R is Major Briggs casually eating pie, like you do, except he gets touched by the Log Lady who is VERY CONCERNED.
Agent Cooper has a report from Interpol, he’s trying to pull some weight for Harry. Hawk updates him that Dr. Hayward couldn’t figure out cause of death for Josie but noted her body was only 65 pounds. WTF. Windom is checking the paper for Agent Cooper’s move and when he finds it says, “This isn’t a move. This is a trick. He’s playing a stalemate game.” He also figures he’s getting help and declares that many people are going to regret this.
Audrey is showing a few girls how to walk a runway. Dick is there getting informed on the endangered weasel. BILLY ZANE is trying to to apologize to Audrey for their awkward conversation the other day but also ask her out. Once again, Agent Cooper tries to roust Harry, tells him some of the details about Josie and also tells him she had prostitution arrests which is probably not what he wants to hear right at this moment. Harry shouts at him to leave.
Windom in disguise pays a visit to Donna pretending to be a doctor friend of her father’s. She invites him in, they have small talk, and he leaves her unharmed but with a gift for her dad.
Peter is at the chess board again, apparently he now knows this is a life or death thing, and I can’t recall when they actually told him that. Lucy and Andy are playing also. She’s winning. Obviously. Major Briggs and the Log Lady arrive to discuss the mark on his neck. The Log noticed it, she remembers… something. She happens to have a similar mark in the shape of a mountain range on the back of her leg. She was 7, walking in the woods, and disappeared for a day. She heard the call of the owl! The only other time she saw the light and heard that sound was when her husband died. They both have another feeling but cant’ pinpoint it.
Can I just have these two in front of me right now? I really want that.
BILLY ZANE is singing to Audrey. She says there was someone, but not anymore. Ahh, young love.
Dr. Hayward comes home with Donna’s mom and she tells them about the visitor. Says it’s not possible, Gerald Craig, the man he claimed to be, is dead. He drowned years ago. The number he left to reach him at goes to a cemetery. The gift was a chess piece/move. Eek!! Don’t let him in the house again, warns her dad and later we see Donna’s mom opens the door, but it’s Benjamin this time? Donna sees him whispering to her and oh god what is this now?
Dr. Jacoby meets with Big Ed and Nadine for a therapy session to help him discuss divorce. They’re trying to explain but she still thinks it’s just a breakup. He says he thinks her memory will start coming back soon and just then she declares, “I think I’ve gone blind in my left eye!”
Nadine and Mike are dressed up trying to get a room at the Great Northern as if they’re “adults” so they can DO IT, except Mike is spotted by some fellow high school kids. Benjamin is hosting his Stop Ghostwood Campaign which includes a fashion show which Dick is hosting. Lucy and Andy are fantastic models.
Benjamin, having cookies and milk, tries to tell Catherine he’s changed. Wants to scrub his conscience. And of course this happens on stage.
A comedy classic.
The animal then runs off, falls into food, and it’s CHAOS! Audrey falls directly into BILLY ZANE’s arms and they kiss.
Some dude (a cop? a Book House Boy?) gets knocked out, Sue Ellen gets into bed with Sheriff Harry. Oh boy.
(captioned screecaps courtesy of TwinPeaksCaptioned.tumblr.com)
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