Things We Saw Today: We’re Here for ‘SNL’s “Short-Ass Movies” Rap

Saturday Night Live returned this week with host Jerrod Carmichael and an episode positively overflowing with jokes about Slapgate. But amidst the myriad takes on the Chris Rock/Will Smith scandal was a delightful music video that addressed a topic we can all agree on. Namely, that movies today are too damn long. In “Short-Ass Movies”, Pete Davidson, Chris Redd, and musical guest Gunna bemoan the absurdly long runtimes of films today. The trio dream of finding a 90-minute movie that they can watch without falling asleep, taking aim at The Batman and countless other films with bloated runtimes.

Davidson raps that he is “a simple man with no attention span,” adding that “Night after night, there’s only one kind of movie I’m always looking for, and that’s a short-ass movie. A really short movie, like at most an hour 40”. Gunna runs through his favorite films that clock in at 90 minutes, including Liar Liar, Evil Dead, Punch-Drunk Love, and Eraserhead among others. Davidson also digs into the fact that Sex and the City 2 has a longer runtime than Jurassic Park. Make it make sense, Hollywood!

Simon Rex aka Dirt Nasty also swung by to profess his love for short movies, all of which are part of Jim Varney’s Ernest franchise. And finally, Davidson roasts himself, admitting that his 2020 film The King of Staten Island is 2 hours and 17 minutes long. “But we needed all those minutes,” argues Davidson as the video comes to a close. “Short-Ass Movies” is bound to be a classic, and may be the best rap parody Davidson done on SNL.

(image: screencap)

• The critically panned Morbius rakes in $39 million in its opening weekend. (via THR)
• Marvel confirms that yes, Daredevil is MCU canon. (via CBR)
• RIP ‘Seinfeld’, ‘Toy Story’ iconic actress Estelle Harris. (via Deadline)

• So many Resident Evil release dates, so little time. (via Comicbook.com)
• Moon Knight‘s Khonshu and the role of Gods in the MCU. (via IGN)
• ‘Attack on Titan Final Season Part 3’ is coming in 2023. (via Polygon)

Happy Sunday Mary Suevians! Hope you’re having a restful and restorative day!

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Chelsea Steiner

Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. An pop culture journalist since 2012, her work has appeared on Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more. Her beats include queer popular culture, film, television, republican clownery, and the unwavering belief that 'The Long Kiss Goodnight' is the greatest movie ever made. She currently resides in sunny Los Angeles, with her husband, 2 sons, and one poorly behaved rescue dog. She is a former roller derby girl and a black belt in Judo, so she is not to be trifled with. She loves the word “Jewess” and wishes more people used it to describe her.

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