Asking if Trump Will Pardon Joe Exotic Is Exactly How I Expected This Circus of a Presidency to End
There's a limo at the ready.
It’s Friday, March 20, 2020. Toilet paper is a scarce commodity and traces of flour linger on the shelves as the entire country rallies behind the idea of baking bread. Everyone is urged to stay inside for an indefinite amount of time (which, spoiler, would end too soon, leading to an ongoing spike of COVID cases) which leads to clicking on random blips of entertainment courtesy of, for the sake of this article, Netflix.
And why Netflix, you ask? And why this specific date? Well, that’s because, on this date in media history, we were introduced to the finest of gay, redneck royalty: Joe Exotic.
For a time there was no escaping the Tiger King and his feud with Carole Baskin. I tried a couple of episodes of the Netflix docuseries and the only thing I got out of it was, “Wow, those animals deserve WAY better than this.” Granted, it’s kinda hard to focus on the animal abuse when you’ve got cults, murder, political bids, and gay poly weddings going on.
That’s kinda the point though, isn’t it? Make the whole thing entertaining instead of batshit horrifying.
Honestly, nothing about the Tiger King story feels real, which kinda makes it the perfect metaphor for what we’ve been living through. 2020 was the height of “what the hell did I just watch” so having this bizarre tale take center stage was fitting.
And that’s just the docuseries, the aftermath includes Carole Baskin fully committing to the f*ckery of 2020 with this … performance(?) on Dancing With The Stars.
As for Joe? Well, he’s got a limo waiting to pick up from prison today.
Yep. You read that right.
Lee Brown of the New York Post writes:
“This time tomorrow, we’re going to be celebrating,” Eric Love, who is leading Exotic’s bid for freedom, told Metro.co.uk in an interview Monday afternoon.
“We have good reason to believe it will come through,” he said of a presidential pardon for the Netflix star, who is serving 22 years for trying to hire a hitman to kill zookeeper rival Carole Baskin.
“We’re confident enough we already have a limousine parked about half a mile from the prison. We are really in action mode right now,” he said of a stretch limo near the Federal Medical Center in Fort Worth in Texas.
That … really?!
Just got off the phone with the lead advocate for “Team Tiger,” the legal team fighting to free Joe Exotic. He told me they are “absolutely confident” they will receive a pardon from President Trump tomorrow. @koconews
— Perris Jones (@KOCOPerris) January 19, 2021
Yep. Really.
joe exotic right now pic.twitter.com/wvugZNHrSW
— let’s get this fucking bread (@lcbo_sndsystm) January 19, 2021
It’s true that our soon to be former-president is set to announce a list of pardons. This piece by Bloomberg’s Jennifer Jacobs and Jordan Fabian goes into more detail:
White House staff have prepared documents to pardon the rapper Dwayne Carter, known as Lil Wayne, who pleaded guilty to a federal gun charge, along with a number of others, according to the people, who asked not to be identified because Trump has made no announcements. It wasn’t immediately clear who else is poised to get clemency.
The president’s eldest daughter, Ivanka Trump, and her husband, Jared Kushner, who both hold White House positions, had been under consideration for preemptive pardons but no paperwork has been prepared, the people said. The pair hasn’t been accused of any wrongdoing.
Preemptive pardons had been under discussion for other top White House officials who have not been charged with crimes, including Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, senior adviser Stephen Miller, personnel chief John McEntee, and social media director Dan Scavino. But there’s no indication those are moving forward.
They also discuss the idea of Trump issuing a self-pardon, but White House officials don’t expect that to happen.
Honestly, the debate on whether or not Joe Exotic will be pardoned is the cherry on top of the shit cake we’ve been served throughout this entire presidency. I’m not even surprised that Joe Exotic is trending like we’re back in March 2020. I’m not even surprised that it’s a very real possibility that he’ll be pardoned. I’m not even surprised that his team has a limo and make-up team ready to pick him up, bedazzle him in tiger stripes, and get him ready for the inevitable television spot he’ll land.
My money’s on The Masked Singer.
It all fits with the theme of Trump’s presidency: frighteningly absurd.
(Image: Netflix)
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