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‘You have two hours:’ The internet goes full National Treasure of Hunter Biden’s pardon

The main trio in National Treasure

It happened. Joe Biden pardoned his son, Hunter Biden and now the internet is giving the president’s kid some ideas for his new found freedom. Or at least the freedom he had until midnight on December 1. In theory, he could do whatever he wanted.

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Hunter Biden was pardoned for federal tax and gun convictions. While many are angry because Joe Biden went back on his promise during the election, I frankly say: Who cares! You guys elected a convicted criminal to office. Let Joe do whatever he wants.

Part of the hilarious part of the pardon was the timing of it. Covering when Biden’s crimes began up until the day of the pardon, the document left many wondering what he was going to do with his freedom. To be clear, this freedom allowed him unlimited power (for a few hours that is).

Armand Domalewski, the co-founder of YIMBYs for Harris, posted an image detailing the stipulations of Hunter Biden’s pardon. In it, it gives specific dates for the pardon. And many pointed out that it meant he had a few hours left to do whatever he wanted. “For those offenses against the United States which he has committed or may have committed or taken part in during the period from January 1, 2014 through December 1, 2024,” the statement reads.

Many online were thinking of what anyone (let alone the son of the President) could do with that kind of power. You can get away with anything. I’d be heading to the Academy Museum and going hog-wild. Shirley Temple’s tap shoes? You’re mind.

Someone else though had the funniest possible idea for what Hunter Biden could do with the few hours he had with his unlimited power. And honestly, I’d watch an entire movie about it. Oh wait…

“I’m going to steal the Declaration of Independence”

Unfortunately, a conservative had a good joke. Chandler Rebel, who is in charge of communications for Senator Markwayne Mullin posted a picture of the Declaration of Independence on X and wrote “Hunter, you have two hours.”

This is referencing the 2004 film National Treasure which had Benjamin Franklin Gates (Nicolas Cage) stealing the document for the treasure map on the back of it. It has, in many cases, led to so many of us making jokes about stealing the actual document to check.

If I was Hunter Biden, I’d do it for the jokes. Or just to say I did it because no one can get mad at you! You were pardoned, just return it before December 2nd. You can easily photocopy the back of it, I’m sure the White House as a copy machine somewhere.

In all seriousness, I don’t know how that actually works and I am sure his new crimes wouldn’t be included but hey, at least it’d be one for the history books! Literally, we’d probably have to add this to them and I think that would have been hilarious. National Treasure would become a documentary we all need to study.

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Author
Rachel Leishman
Assistant Editor
Rachel Leishman (She/Her) is an Assistant Editor at the Mary Sue. She's been a writer professionally since 2016 but was always obsessed with movies and television and writing about them growing up. A lover of Spider-Man and Wanda Maximoff's biggest defender, she has interests in all things nerdy and a cat named Benjamin Wyatt the cat. If you want to talk classic rock music or all things Harrison Ford, she's your girl but her interests span far and wide. Yes, she knows she looks like Florence Pugh. She has multiple podcasts, normally has opinions on any bit of pop culture, and can tell you can actors entire filmography off the top of her head. Her current obsession is Glen Powell's dog, Brisket. Her work at the Mary Sue often includes Star Wars, Marvel, DC, movie reviews, and interviews.

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