Republican Men Who Have Never Used a Stove Are Angry at Biden About Gas Stoves?

Every day I log onto Al Gore’s internet and Republicans are woefully misunderstanding something and making asses out of themselves. This time, it’s about gas stoves. Why? Because a new study showed that banning gas stoves could help improve the climate as well as our personal health. And somehow that has become a Republican talking point?

A new study has linked gas stoves to health concerns in humans and negative effects on the environment. When the United States Consumer Product Safety Commission announced that it might take regulatory action to stop the use of gas stoves, they suddenly became a political issue. Why? Oil and gas companies and their connections to conservatives, of course. But it has also given us one of the funniest news cycles to date.

There are very important issues in this world and yet here we are. Republicans like Matt Gaetz, Matt Walsh, and Ronny Jackson took their outrage to social media—you know, three men who for sure use their gas stoves daily, right?

To be clear: No one said they’re banning gas stoves. But instead of caring about anything else, Republicans have put their focus on this fake ban. Because why care about humans and their rights when we can pretend like the Kool-Aid man is going to bust down their door and take their stove?

I’m sorry, but do these Republican dudes really think we’re idiotic enough to believe that they even know how to turn a stove on? What this reaction has done, though, is usher in a wave of Gas Stove Ban memes.

It’s just so incredibly stupid. I’m sorry, there is no other way to describe this. People like Matt Gaetz are just turning on their stoves and writing things like “#FoodieRevolt” on Twitter. Posting a video of his dirty stove, Gaetz just filmed the flames? Does he not think an electric stove gets hot? Like, what exactly is their problem outside of their personal connections to the gas industry?

So let’s go through some of my favorite memes that have emerged from the Republicans and their need to make every little thing into an absolute mess.

Where will all the girlies light their cigarettes?

A classic staple of a cool girl in cinema is your ability to light a cigarette with your stove. Without gas stoves, we could lose the imagery of a woman lighting a cigarette in her kitchen. While smoking is no longer cool, it still looks cool in movies. But if we ban gas stoves, what are the indie ladies to do?

Others are seeing this as a money making opportunity

For years, the only stove you could get was a gas stove. And that means there are plenty going around that you can use that are so old, your great-grandma probably had the same one. One Twitter user decided to tweet out a 1970s pre-ban gas stove for a steal! The yellow stove, which could’ve been used as a prop in Almost Famous, is only going to cost you $4,654 dollars! Which is a steal when you think about how an evil electric stove is roughly $600!

That extra $4k to keep your manly gas stove? Priceless.

Why not make fun of Conservatives?

For whatever reason (we know the reason, the gas companies help fund them) Republicans have taken personal offense to the idea of “banning” these stoves. Again, no one is taking them away. But now we’re seeing the absolute worst takes about gas stoves on Twitter—like famed gross person Matt Walsh (I’m so sorry, UCB’s Matt Walsh, I love you) going on and on about it.

So many are using this time to simply point out that people like the bad Matt Walsh have chosen to make themselves the “permanent” martyrs of the “stupidest causes.” And, wow, that’s a perfect way of describing them.

Ralph Fiennes will not stand for this!

Yes, the minute we started talking about this, the staff of The Mary Sue had jokes about The Menu. I guess the stance implied by Gaetz’s #FoodieRevolt hashtag was that of a chef, but again, no one is taking it from you. I imagine that someone like Fiennes’ Chef Slowik would still have the “eventful” night he orchestrated in the movie and he could make it work with an electric stove. But hey, maybe that’s actually what inspired his creative dinner menu: The threat of not having a gas stove.

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All of this is to say that no one is trying to take away your gas stove. You’re not going to have to fight a man off at your front door. These are simply the results of a study meant to curb us from using more gas stoves in the future. But Republicans heard their money crumbling away from gas prices and decided that act two of their 2023 political theatre was going to be this nonsense.

(featured image: Searchlight Pictures)