Yass Queen! Our manic-pixie senator from Arizona, Kyrsten Sinema has finally achieved her final form by officially breaking with the Democratic party and registering as an independent. She announced this move Friday in a special sit-down interview with CNN’s Jake Tapper.
Now anyone with eyes can see that this switch was a crass and calculated move timed to weaken the Democratic party’s control of the Senate once it was confirmed that Senator Warnock would be re-elected in Georgia. Sinema (alongside Manchin) has been wielding her pink, sparkly “centrist” baton against any progress the DNC leadership have attempted to make in order to protect her many wealthy donors. After all, who could forget her iconic sassy thumbs down vote against raising the minimum wage? Her constituents might be starving but she’s got her designer bag baby! A true quirky, Gen X, bisexual icon honey! She is not a regular senator, she’s a cool senator! Don’t look at her bank account look at her Penelope Garcia glasses! And now that her position as one of the main barriers to progress has become less relevant she has to follow her donors instructions – uh I mean her principles – and declare herself an independent woman!
If you feel moved by this brave and bold s-hero and want to channel her colorful and calculating vibe, here are some iconic movie monsters – I mean mavens! For you to embody! Just like Sinema!
Dolores Umbridge
Who doesn’t love a girly-girl right? She’s pink, she’s proper, and she rules with an iron fist! Dolores Umbridge ruled over Hogwarts in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in a sweet sweater combo and set curls. We love a woman who doesn’t let go of her femininity just because she is the embodiment of fascism and the harsh authoritarian state! She will preside over her panopticon and punish her charges with grim determination – as long as it doesn’t interfere with her me-time and tea time! She proves that a woman truly can have it all.
Veruca Salt
The princess, the diva, the moment! Veruca Salt was the little girl who shattered glass ceilings (or in this case, trap doors) when she refused to accept no for an answer in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Miss Salt knows what she wants and she is not above making a scene in order to get it. Whether it be the golden ticket, a goose that lays a golden egg, or a million dollar donation from the Winklevoss Twins, both Veruca and Sinema know how to take care of number one and look like a pretty princess while doing it!
Pennywise the Clown
The shape-shifting dancing diva from the stars! Pennywise loves to put on a show! Pennywise loves to dress up and isn’t afraid of a bit of makeup or a bold look. Most importantly, Pennywise isn’t afraid to disguise itself (like say a political grifter pretending to be a Democrat) in order to get what it wants! Pennywise has a knack for drama and loves to be the center of attention in its victims’ – I mean the American people’s lives!
Carrie Bradshaw
A true queen of capitalism. Carrie loves a loud look, making it all about her, and causing political upheaval and possible international conflict! I mean just look at the devastation she and her gal pals left behind in Abu Dhabi in Sex and the City 2! But really, who would let the thousand-year-old culture and social rules of a different country put a damper on her girls’ trip? Not Carrie! After all, she’s got her hideous hats and Manolo Blahniks to think about!
Alex Forrest
Our final woman who demands to be the center of attention! She will not be overlooked! It’s Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction. She might be a handful, but hey you do what you have to do to get what you’re owed. Alex, much like Sinema, isn’t afraid to cause a scene, stir up some drama (or a rabbit), to make her wants and needs known! Whether it’s for Michael Douglas to leave his wife, or a cushy pundit job when she loses her re-election bid, both Alex and Sinema know how to keep the spotlight on them at all times! Just like a queen should.
(image: Mario Tama/Getty Images)
Published: Dec 10, 2022 12:34 pm