Richard J. Atkinson, a 63-year-old man from Everett, Washington, has been sentenced to six months in jail for stabbing his (now ex-) girlfriend’s parrot to death with a serving fork  while in the throes of what his lawyer described as a blacked-out rage fueled by mixing whiskey and anti-anxiety medication. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with Everett — a Seattle suburb and more or less the Florida of Washington state — no word in that sentence should come as any great shock.
In addition to serving six months in jail for animal cruelty and domestic violence, Atkinson will be required to pay damages to his former girlfriend, who had the parrot — Bailey, may he rest in peace —  for 18 years until it’s untimely death at Atkinson’s fork-wielding hands in August of this year. The judge in the case also ordered Atkinson to undergo a psychiatric evaluation, which…I dunno, seems kind of unnecessary. After all, if you can answer yes to the question “Have you ever gotten all hepped up on goofballs and stabbed a parrot with a fork?” then, really, I think it’s safe to say we know an awful lot about your psychiatric state, right off the bat.
(via KING 5)
- What kind of monster forks a creature that names its babies?
- And spontaneously invents its own tools?
- Perhaps Paranoid Parrot is really just cautious after all…
Published: Nov 28, 2012 06:10 pm