Behold the Pizza Condom. Caution: Hot!

I'll take mine with extra sausage.
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The pizza condom perfectly combines the two greatest things in the world: pizza and safety. Wait, what did you think I meant? Sadly, it is just a mockup concept by branding and packaging artist Marina Malygina and not a real product that stands to singlehandedly fix the “but I don’t like condoms” problem. How could you not love the pizza condom in its adorable little pizza box? Your options for innuendo would be as limitless as pizza toppings! Malygina was inspired be the age-old conflict between food and sex, writing:

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What is sex? Fun and pleasure! What else can give us these feelings? Of course, food! When I was creating this package, I was inspired by Joey character (F.R.I.E.N.D.S.) and his well-known problem: «- If you had to give up sex or food, which would you pick? – Okay… sex. No, food. No, uh… I want both!»

But really, this should absolutely be a real product. Malygina needs to call up Domino’s, because they’d totally be on board in the midst of their mildly unsettling Fifty Shades of Grey marketing campaign. And then we could add something sandwich-themed to really hit all the best foods and get Subway in on the action, because, well, Domino’s and Subway Fifty Shades of Grey cross promotion? Come on. (via Boing Boing, image via Marina Malygina) Are you following The Mary Sue on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, & Google +?


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Dan Van Winkle
Dan Van Winkle (he) is an editor and manager who has been working in digital media since 2013, first at now-defunct Geekosystem (RIP), and then at The Mary Sue starting in 2014, specializing in gaming, science, and technology. Outside of his professional experience, he has been active in video game modding and development as a hobby for many years. He lives in North Carolina with Lisa Brown (his wife) and Liz Lemon (their dog), both of whom are the best, and you will regret challenging him at Smash Bros.