This ’70s-Style Trailer Reimagines Jupiter Ascending As Cinderella 2000 And It’s As Flawless As The Film

You all know I think Jupiter Ascending is the finest film to grace our human souls in years, and this ’70s-style trailer does it true justice. I see no lies.

Tragically, the Jupiter Ascending Blu-ray has been delayed from May until June 2nd (how absolute dare), but we now know that it will be on sale for the low, low price of $44.49, and will include bonus features like:

• Jupiter Jones: Destiny Is Within Us
• Caine Wise: Interplanetary Warrior
• The Wachowskis: Minds Over Matter
• Worlds Within Worlds Within Worlds
• Jupiter Ascending: Genetically Spliced
• Bullet Time Evolved
• From Earth to Jupiter (And Everywhere In Between)

So what I’m saying is June 2nd can’t come soon enough.

Meanwhile, please enjoy this priceless Caine Wise art I picked up at ECCC:

.@SaraMcSorley told me I was the first person to buy this print and I can’t understand why #JupiterAscending #ECCC pic.twitter.com/lsn07rS2Zo

— Maggsneto (@SamMaggs) March 28, 2015

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