“’This is a story about you,’ said the man on the radio. And you were pleased, because you always wanted to hear about yourself on the radio.”
This episode is one of the most unique in the series and my personal favorite. For once Cecil doesn’t have a whole bunch of different stories to tell us about. This time there is only one. He tells a story all about you, a listener and resident of Night Vale. While it soon becomes clear that he’s talking about a very specific person, it’s easy to believe that Cecil is talking about you personally, telling you about a life you didn’t know you had.
The you of this story lives in a trailer near Old Woman Josie’s house (which is also where the angels live). You seem to lead a simple but content existence in Night Vale, although you did not always live there.
You used to be a normal person who wrote direct mail campaigns. It sounds like it was a miserable job, writing words you didn’t mean for people who would never read them. You had a fiancée that you loved, but maybe that wasn’t enough?
One day you were walking home when you had a vision. In the sky you saw an enormous planet. It was dark and filled with colossal mountains, oceans, and forests. Somehow that vision changed you. You never went home again.
As Cecil explains, you were able to walk away from everything in your life at the drop of a hat. You just got in your car and drove until you arrived in Night Vale. And that’s where you live now. It’s as simple as that.
That simplicity is the true terrifying theme of this episode. “You” were able to easily abandon your whole life without facing any sort of consequences. As far as you can tell, no one ever even looked for you. You didn’t have to face an angry boss, a heart-broken fiancée, or police trying to track you down. Without those consequences, you feel ungrounded. The world lacks purpose and everything you’ve ever known doesn’t make sense anymore. Maybe that’s a good worldview to have when moving to Night Vale, but for “you” it leaves a constant sense of something important being incomplete.
You have a much better job in Night Vale. You spend your days moving crates from one truck to another while a man watches you. Occasionally the boxes tick, but you don’t know or even seem to care why.
One day, today in fact, something different happened, and that difference is likely why Cecil is telling us all about your life.
Today while you moved crates the man watching you got a phone call. He turned away and suddenly you sensed an opportunity. You took one of the crates and put it in the trunk of your car. You didn’t do it out of greed or curiosity. It was just because you feel trapped in a world without consequence. It’s like you’re a child crying out for cosmic attention. You took the crate because you felt no reason not to.
At this point we have caught up to the present and Cecil is now narrating your life in real time. You’re at home, waiting to see if stealing the crate will have any consequences. Even though it would be easy, you don’t try to open it. Of course you don’t, that’s not really the point of this exercise. Instead you listen to Cecil talking about your life. Then you hear a howl in the distance and you know that the crate’s absence has been noticed.
You decide to go to the Moon-Lite All-Nite Diner. It’s nighttime now, which is your favorite time of day. During the night you can go outside into the dark night air and feel like you’re close to that planet again, the one lit by no sun. I suspect that even thinking about the planet makes you feel like you could be complete again.
At the diner you order some pie and continue to hear the story about yourself coming out of the radio at your table. However, you’re quickly distracted by the arrival of the Apache Tracker. (The formerly white guy who dressed as a cartoonish impersonation of a Native American, but who has recently transformed into a real Native American who can somehow speak only Russian.) He sits down with you and says something in Russian. Cecil says it too, but does not bother to translate, probably because the you of this story doesn’t speak Russian.
Still, this is the first time we’ve heard the Apache Tracker speak, so I’m not going to let this chance pass us by! According to the internet, what he says is “You are in danger”, “They’re coming”, and “They will come from below. Pies will not help.” How interesting and mysterious. The Apache Tracker has seemed concerned about the underground city beneath the local bowling alley lately. Has this got something to do with them?
In any case, it makes you uncomfortable, so you leave the diner as soon as possible. You get in your car just in time to hear the weather.
This episode’s weather is “You Don’t Know” by Mount Moon, which may be the best song about an existential crisis that I’ve ever heard.
You retrieve the crate and then drive at random, coming out at the edge of town. You can see helicopters and a giant purple cloud (not the Glow Cloud) searching the city for you. You stop the car and take out the crate. It feels warmer but still isn’t ticking. (The ticking is somehow important, I guess.) Soon another car comes and two men step out.
The men are there for the box and cleverly found you by listening to the radio to hear Cecil describe your location. They take the crate and note that it’s undamaged. While they examine it your long-lost fiancée steps out of their car, though you seem to be the only one who can see her.
Her eyes are full of tears. She asks you “Why?” You don’t know what to say. You don’t get to say anything before she leaves. Still, you are happy. You finally live in a world with consequences again. Life has meaning again. You keep smiling even when one of the men puts a knife to your throat.
The other man opens the crate and, to my absolute delight, we actually get to know what is inside it. It’s a house, a tiny, intricate house. It’s incredibly detailed. You even think you see lights and movement inside it.
The knife presses harder into your throat, but you don’t care. You can sense something beautiful and familiar now. You look up and see the planet again. It’s as amazing as you remember it and closer than ever. You think you could almost touch it…
And then your story is done. Cecil moves on, talking about the topics to be covered next time. Did you go to your majestic planet? Did you die from the knife to your throat? We may never know. But, as Cecil says:
“The radio moves onto other things – news, traffic, political opinions, and corrections to political opinions. But there was time, one day, one single day, in which it was only one story. A story about you.
And you were pleased, because you always wanted to hear about yourself on the radio.”
This episode is my favorite for a lot of reasons. The writing is excellent and the story is compelling, but it’s also one of the few Night Vale episodes that can be appreciated all on its own. It has themes that can be explored more and more with every listening. I’d even recommend it for analysis in an English or drama class.
Well readers, what do you think it all meant?
And let’s not forget our Conspiracy Tracker!
1. Angels are living with Old Woman Josie and the City Council wants to capture them.
2. There’s a house that doesn’t exist.
3. The Apache Tracker has changed into a real Native American and only speaks Russian
4. Time is weird in Night Vale and Carlos wants to figure it out.
5. Cecil wants to be swallowed by a giant snake.
6. There’s a city underneath the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex.
7. Literal five-headed dragon Hiram McDaniels wants to be the next mayor.
8. Pets become perfect when you accept them…
9. What the heck is the dog park?
10. Russian=Weirdness
11. Cecil hates Steve Carlsberg for unknown reasons.
12. Night Vale has a surprising fixation on actor Lee Marvin.
13. The government can control the weather.
14. Two boy scouts are close to becoming Eternal Scouts.
15. The Apache Tracker and angels are watching the Desert Flower.
16. Night Vale is prone to duplication.
17. A dark planet is calling to people.
18. People are shipping crates with tiny houses inside.
Alex Townsend is freelance writer, a cool person, and really into gender studies and superheroes. It’s a magical day when all these things come together. You can follow her on her tumblr and see her comments on silver age comics. Happy reading!
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Published: Aug 19, 2015 07:55 pm