The Theft of Famous Movie Props Has Us Brainstorming The Next Great Hollywood Heist Film

In February, two thieves robbed a storage unit in Rancho Cucamonga that contained more than $1 million worth of famous film memorabilia from Marvel collector Max Anderson. Anderson owned and operated the Stan Lee Museum, a pop-up exhibition that travels from Con to Con. Among the items stolen were a shield from Captain America: The First Avenger, a mask from the Iron Man suit, and a set of X-23 claws from Logan.

While those behind the theft were apprehended, a different Iron Man suit (valued at $325,000) was stolen from a storage unit in the San Fernando Valley. The suit has yet to be recovered. What does this tell us, aside from the fact that storage units in the Valley need heightened security measures? It tells us that the future of heist movies should revolve around the crown jewels of geekery.

Okay, hear me out. For decades, heist movies have taken us all over the globe. Whether it’s Danny Ocean’s dapper crew robbing casinos, or Thomas Crown stealing works of art, or Catherine Zeta Jones sexily sliding through some lasers to seduce World’s Sexiest Grandpa Sean Connery in Entrapment. Hell, one of the greatest spy films ever, Charade starring Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant, revolved around a highly coveted set of rare collectible stamps. STAMPS Y’ALL.

But (and apologies to philately enthusiasts) who cares about stamps anymore? Stamps, rare coins, antiques…aside from precious jewels, gold kruggerands and that sweet sweet cash, film collectibles are the next logical objective for Hollywood’s heist movies. In fact, here are our top three pitches for Hollywood heist films we’d like to see:

The Skywalker Ranch Stakeout

A motley crew of ex-cons gathers together for one last grand heist: the theft of Luke Skywalker’s original lightsaber. The ex-cons must team up with a disgruntled VFX programmer to hack into the high-security Lucasfilm compound, fighting off killer Stormtroopers turned robot sentinels and the ultimate Sith Lord, George Lucas himself.

You Slay Me

When a teenage delinquent sets out to steal Mr. Pointy, a.k.a. Buffy’s signature stake from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, she is imbued with the powers of a Slayer. These powers come in handy when she must foil the Vampire Mafia who are planning to steal the secrets to cold fusion. Or the Bill of Rights. Or a nuclear warhead. I’m not picky.

The New New New Avengers: This Time They’re Basically Babies

A team of kids find themselves stumbling into Kevin Feige’s secret underground lair of props and costumes from the MCU. When the kids try on the various suits, shields, and weapons, they are transformed into the superheroes themselves. They use their newfound superpowers to defeat the bullies at school and secure Pizza Fridays in the cafeteria.

Got any geek heist pitches of your own? Share them in the comments!

(via The Hollywood Reporter, image: Rich Fury/Getty Images for Warner Bros. Studio Tour Hollywood)

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