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I Will Not Make The Easy Joke About Biden’s “Package” Comment

Biden did not find Republicans' package stimulating enough.
Image of Rachel Leishman
Rachel Leishman
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Published: Feb 2, 2021 04:22 pm

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Apparently, President Joe Biden was discussing coronavirus stimulus with Republican senators who had put forth their own plan, and he told them their relief “package” was too small. He then relayed that conversation to Democrats, and it has now made it out there onto the internet, and … what? Stop snickering.

Okay, now that I know you’re a bad person like me, I know you’re thinking about dick jokes. Welcome. But, for real, Biden is telling the Senate that their stimulus packages are too small. But “stimulus” was left out of this tweet by White House reporter Seung Min Kim so now we’re just out here giggling like children.

Well, that’s nothing Republicans haven’t heard before—no, not like that! Well, okay, kind of: They literally heard it before when their 2016 primary devolved into actual penis-size attacks by presidential candidates. And that’s just the thing about these men in government: They love to propose a fight, or a pushup contest (Biden included), or basically anything that’s a proverbial dick measuring contest.

Remember when Ted Cruz offered up Jim Jordan to a wrestling match against Ron Perlman? All they want to do is show off their masculinity, so I will gladly take some dick jokes on Twitter as a consolation prize for having to deal with this macho bravado all the time.

Do I love a good dick joke? Of course, I’m human. But this is next level. The upper echelon of comedy in my humble opinion. And Twitter is delivering.

So, if this is the level of comedy we’re at, I’ll take it. I’ll take all the dick jokes, I’ll laugh at package comments, and I hope that it means that Joe Biden is advocating for giving the American people more money and helping everyone stay home so we can stop the spread of COVID-19 and … well, laugh at dick jokes.

(image: HBO)

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Image of Rachel Leishman
Rachel Leishman
Rachel Leishman (She/Her) is an Assistant Editor at the Mary Sue. She's been a writer professionally since 2016 but was always obsessed with movies and television and writing about them growing up. A lover of Spider-Man and Wanda Maximoff's biggest defender, she has interests in all things nerdy and a cat named Benjamin Wyatt the cat. If you want to talk classic rock music or all things Harrison Ford, she's your girl but her interests span far and wide. Yes, she knows she looks like Florence Pugh. She has multiple podcasts, normally has opinions on any bit of pop culture, and can tell you can actors entire filmography off the top of her head. Her current obsession is Glen Powell's dog, Brisket. Her work at the Mary Sue often includes Star Wars, Marvel, DC, movie reviews, and interviews.
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