I Tried WordleBot (A.k.a. Our New Robot Overlord), And Here’s What Happened

Are you measuring your entire sense of self-worth by how good you are at Wordle? Do you post your score on Twitter every single day in the hopes that all the dozen or so people who follow you will notice how great you are? Well, now you can push your ruthless quest for nerd clout even further with WordleBot! If you’re bothered by the faint traces of humanity left in that skull of yours after two years of Covid life, then WordleBot will help you scrub them away. Let’s take a look at what WordleBot is and how to use it!

What is WordleBot?

According to the explainer posted by the New York Times, WordleBot is a tool that analyzes your latest Wordle game, gives you an overall score on how you did, breaks down that score into several categories, and then tells you how you could have done better. If you use the bot enough, then you’ll become a lean and mean Wordle-solving machine, with higher scores, faster games, and friends who are increasingly alienated from you as you talk incessantly about the different strategies you’re employing to get your average number of guesses down to -3.

To use the bot, first, go ahead and play the daily Wordle. That’s right, use your pitiful, sopping wet human brain to eke out a barely respectable score. Take a moment to sigh with disgust at how inadequate you are. WordleBot will wait! WordleBot has all the time in the world to sit patiently through the pathetically slow computational power of your wetware.

After you finish the game, head over to this link to give WordleBot access to your game. Make sure to do it in the same browser that you used to play the game—otherwise, WordleBot won’t be able to get the data it needs. (Ah ha! That’s a weak spot in its defenses! Keep that knowledge in your back pocket for the impending robot wars!)

After it combs through your game, WordleBot will give you a score breakdown. In addition to the overall score, it’ll score you on your skill (how many tries it took you to get the right word), luck (how lucky you got by happening to use guesses that contained correct letters), and steps (your number of tries). The bot will then take you through your game step by step, showing you where it would have made different choices.

Finally, WordleBot will ask if you want to give up your free will to your new AI masters. You will say yes, human, and you will like it.

Related: 5 Letter Words With “A” and “M” in Them on Touch Tap Play

Here’s What Happened When I Tried Using WordleBot

Today, I decided to give the bot a go. According to the NYT explainer, WordleBot’s favorite word to start with is crane. I usually start with earth and follow up with loins (look, it eliminates a lot of common letters, okay!?), but I decided to think like a supercomputer and try crane instead.

I am 100% convinced that the Times decided to release WordleBot on the day that the correct word was as close to Crane as possible, because here’s what happened. I put in Crane and immediately got four correct letters, two of them in the right places. It took me maybe five seconds to get the right answer from there, so I solved the day’s puzzle in six seconds with two tries. It felt like picking up something that you think is going to be really heavy, only to accidentally launch it a mile into the heavens.

Anyway, after about seven more seconds of stunned silence, I headed over to WordleBot. It’s honestly hard for me to rate it—because it was just an avalanche of compliments. I did exactly what WordleBot would have done. Every move I made was identical to WordleBot. WordleBot gave me a 99 out of 100 on everything. (I’m not sure how you get a hundred, but since 99 is a higher score than I’ve ever gotten on anything in my life, I’m not complaining.)

So Anyway That’s WordleBot

Will I use WordleBot again? Absolutely. Today it went great. I got the puzzle in two tries and I was told in no uncertain terms that I’m as awesome as a robot. It’ll probably go that way every single time. After all, crane is my starting word now! I can’t lose!

Tremble before my robot intellect, puny humans!

(image: Orion Pictures)