For me and many, many others, The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom remains a dominant presence in my life, weeks after its release. It will probably be a dominant presence in my life for the rest of the goddamn year. Maybe the rest of my life, who knows. Tears of the Kingdom‘s myriad delights, day after day. Those delights (sometimes) transfer into the online world, where my Twitter feed is filled with the wild things people are making with Ultrahand.
Ultrahand is one of Link’s new core abilities. It gives you the power to move and control a shocking amount of non-living matter in your environment, and attach them together with neon-green magic glue. You can stick on some veggies and flowers, too, for decorative garnish. Point is, the game encourages you to make cars, hot air balloons, and airplanes—things that, unspoken dozens of hours in, still feel like a wild addition to a Zelda game. The first time I built an airplane I could control, I started screaming in joy like a five-year-old child on their first roller coaster.
But you don’t have to use Ultrahand to make cars or hot air balloons or airplanes. You can make whatever the hell you want. People have been posting their creations online, and some of them are truly jaw-dropping. So I wanted to take a moment to celebrate people’s creativity, as well as the fact that this game allows that creativity to happen. Truly, what a game.
Flaming penis man
If you have seen any “Ultrahand Content,” it’s probably been this—the now-famous flaming penis man. ZAKUYA is a veritable wellspring of ridiculous Tears of the Kingdom content, but their first and greatest hit was this freakin’ guy. The Keese eyeballs for the eyes … everything about this gentleman is very weird and unsettling and excellent. (They use the same decorative flourish for a flying house.) His balls are time bombs, so the minute ZAKUYA sets off the flamethrower on the tip, we knew this guy was doomed.
Does he serve any in-game purpose? Of course not. But don’t you enjoy the head-canon that Link took some time off from trying to find Zelda and blew off some steam by making this guy?
Darth Vader’s TIE Fighter
The original source of this wonder is FatherSauce on Tiktok. This one is ridiculously impressive, especially because this player only possessed two batteries at this point in their gameplay. At that point in my gameplay, I’m still making janky-ass cars and unsuccessfully trying to scale mountains with them.
This is a freaking working TIE fighter, straight out of Star Wars. And it’s not just any old TIE fighter, either. It’s Darth Vader’s TIE fighter, specifically. Is there a more epic way to cruise the skies above Hyrule?
Macross F
Naturally, it didn’t take long for people to realize you can build freaking mechs in Tears of the Kingdom. In retrospect, Nintendo even showed us as much during the third trailer for the game. Maybe one day, I will try to build Eva 01 in Tears of the Kingdom. But until then, I am simply delighted that Tiktok user soulbanana0 made multiple models from Macross. Macross is a famous mech series which debuted in the 1980s, so it has a deep and devoted fanbase. You love to see it.
What really gets me about this design is that, for the larger one, Link has to use Ascension to even get in. Talk about foresight during construction!
Fancy automatic launcher guy
Speaking of mechs, here’s another one that caught a bunch of people’s eyes. This creation isn’t based on a particular pop culture phenomenon, but it’s incredibly impressive all the same. You can’t climb in and pilot this one, but its construction is immaculate. Twitter user uran120’s real-world specialty is making stunning “mechanical creatures” with LEGO bricks. It’s truly stunning how Tears of the Kingdom‘s flexible systems allow different kinds of creatives (and engineers, for that matter) to show off their skills.
Amusement park rides
You love to see Link experimenting with his niche new superpowers for the good of the people. I hope that, once everything has settled down and everyone has been saved once again, Link opens Hyrule’s first amusement park. Then again, if relying just on Ultrahand, it might be a bit difficult to craft attractions that are up to code.
As you can see, a fair amount of players have been experimenting with bringing their own amusement park attractions to life. When you have a giant self-rotating wheel in your toolbox, a lot of incredible possibilities open up. As long as you know a thing or two about physics and/or the principles of construction. By contrast, I tried to make a paddleboat, and it started flailing and coming towards me with a truly horrific lurching motion.
Of course, our old friend ZAKUYA got in on the theme park ride action as well, with an attempt to make a ferris wheel. But it turns out even the neon-green magic glue can’t stand up again the sheer thrills of a high-speed ferris wheel.
Korok swing
People have been torturing Koroks in Tears of the Kingdom, and as a Korok-lover, I hate it very much. I am looking for Korok joy and Korok kindness timeline cleanses. Which is why I was very grateful to see this delightful swing pass through my timeline. Twitter user chocrab_1226 presents it explicitly as a peace offering—an apology for torturing Koroks in the past. The Korok is still stressed out, though. Can you blame him, after what all his brethren have been through? Still, I genuinely enjoy the design of this swing. I hope the Korok learns to love it, too.
Blackstone oil engine
This one blows my freaking mind. 3D animator and Twitter user Liz_Caingroy just straight-up re-created a real-world oil engine in Tears of the Kingdom. She found a myriad of uses for it, too, like pummeling Bokoblins and roasting food. Are there easier ways to pummel Bokoblins and roast a fish? Sure. But why the hell would you do that when you have the smarts to make a freaking engine that will do it for you?
(Image credit: Nintendo)
Published: Jun 5, 2023 04:41 pm