Does Short Round Return in ‘Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny’ or What?

If Best Supporting Actor winner Ke Huy Quan isn’t in the new Indiana Jones movie I’m gonna scream-cry-throw-up. And I won’t be the only one. Tom Hiddleston, a (perhaps platonic, perhaps not) lover of Ke Huy Quan is also going to be royally pissed off. Seriously. If I don’t see Ke Huy Quan’s sweet face shining on the big screen in Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, I am going to roll into Hollywood like the boulder in Raiders of the Lost Ark and absolutely CRUSH some suits. IT’S NOT GONNA BE PRETTY.

So I ask again: Is Ke Huy Quan returning as Indy’s sidekick Short Round?

According to director James Mangold, Ke Huy Quan is NOT returning as Short Round in the new Indiana Jones movie.

RAAAAGGHHHHWAAAAAHHBLOORRRRFFFF!!!!

Did you hear that? THAT was me screaming-crying-throwing-up. I’m livid. I’m FURIOUS. I’m APOPLECTIC WITH FANGIRL RAGE. All I want to know is WHY. Which is the question that I have been screeching to the cold stars from my rooftop for the past hour and a half.

Apparently James Mangold “didn’t want another another adult along for the ride,” according to an interview with IGN. The film is centered around Indy’s twilight years, and Mangold wanted him to be joined by a cast of relatively young actors in order to juxtapose them against the now elderly Harrison Ford.

“If you notice … the only person we follow through the whole way is Indy himself,” Mangold said. “I felt like we needed to have a female lead who challenged him. But we looked at all these different things and tried to figure out how they would work. I just didn’t want another adult along for the ride.” The female lead in question is Phoebe Waller Bridge, who plays an ally of Indiana Jones named Helena. The film will also feature the babyfaced Ethann Isidore as Indiana’s plucky young sidekick.

So no, there is no Short Round in Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. They just didn’t know where to put him in the movie. Was it worth it, James Mangold? Was your perfect script breaking all of our hearts? I’m not the first person to scream-cry-throw-up over this news, and I won’t be the last.

(featured image: Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures)