How Dare You? Martin Short Is an International Treasure.

Look, the thing about rage-inducing clickbait is that sometimes you fall for it, and you give the writer (and site publishing said rage-bait) exactly what they were going for: your click and attention. Understanding this doesn’t make falling for the trap any less infuriating, and most of the time, I just scroll on by because who wants to spend their precious free time being angry at bad hot takes when there are videos of Orangutangs cooly driving golf carts on Al Gore’s internet?

That said, there is Martin Short libel out there on the choppy waters of the internet today, which is essentially the opposite of an orangutan driving a golf cart, and that sort of thing I cannot stand for, obvious rage-inducing clickbait or not.

That’s right, some guy woke up today and decided, “Yes, this is the day I unleash my terrible and mean-spirited hot take unto the world. Ha ha! F*ck you, international treasure Martin Short!” I am, of course, talking about the factually inaccurate and deeply mean article published by Slate: “Why We Keep Putting Up With Martin Short.” The basic gist of the whole thing is that the author finds Short annoying; thus, everyone else puts up with him in things, too. The audacity!

OK, first off, tell me you’ve never seen The Three Amigos without telling me you’ve never seen The Three Amigos. (A movie the article calls “not-that-good.”) I dare you to watch the clip of Short, Steve Martin, and Chevy Chase singing “My Little Buttercup” and not smile. Go on, I dare you:

Also not for nothin’, but the man has a very pleasant singing voice:

The article also has the gall to come after the Father of the Bride series, which is a kind-hearted, entertaining, funny movie series. Is Short’s character Franck slightly cringey held up to 2023 standards? I mean, yeah, sure, the first movie is more than 30 years old now. Is Franck Short’s most “unfunny” character of all time like the article claims? Absolutely not, Short was on SNL. We all know SNL has high highs and low lows, so if we were ever to decide to roll around in the mud and try to pick apart his career, I’d suggest we start there. However, who wants to s*** on someone’s body of work, when celebrating what you love is so much more fun?

Speaking of what I love about Martin Short: Innerspace. Genuinely, it may be his best movie, and unlike the author of that hit piece, I really like Martin Short in things. He always seems to be having a good time, even when he’s playing a fake psychic serial killer in a very special episode of Law & Order SVU.

Even the article begrudgingly admits that Short, the person, seems like a decent guy. So, why write such a mean-spirited take? It’s not 2004 anymore. The internet doesn’t have to be that mean, man. Look, there are many actors whom I don’t care for in things. That doesn’t mean I would ever take to the internet to s*** on their entire body of work and then look into the void and metaphorically shout, “Who’s with me!?”

That’s just mean! Who wants to roll around in the mud, slinging it at a man who has never done anything to you personally when you could have wasted your precious time and brain cells on celebrating something you do like? Like talking about movies that involve shrinking down to a microscopic size and then traveling through someone’s body! Sound familiar? That’s the plot of Innerspace, baby!

The world has very real problems and people in power who should be held accountable and highlighted with scrutiny, and even possibly spoken down about. Case in point: Ted Cruz. No one should ever say anything nice about that guy unless he pulls a full Ebenezer Scrooge, wakes up, atones, and actively tries to undo all the damage he’s done in the world. Although I’m not holding my breath on that one.

Finding Martin Short annoying simply does not meet the threshold of things that are inside your head needing to be outside of it. Find a better hobby, dude! I promise you that embracing the people and things you do like is far more fun than dumping on the people and things you don’t. At the very least, it’s kinder.

(featured image: Warner Bros.)