You Probably Shouldn’t Think About Dog Years While Watching ‘Bluey’

How do I know that lovable puppies Bluey and Bingo aren’t just adults pretending to be children like the real-life story behind the horror movie Orphan? I don’t.

After all, they very well could be adults in dog years. At three years old, either of them would be of drinking age. I don’t want to deal with a sauced-up dog adult, no indeed.

According to the internet, Bluey and his little sister Bingo are four and six, respectively. In human years, that makes sense. In dog years, that means that Bluey and his sis are 36 and 28. Listen, I get that the economy is hard these days, but that’s a little old to for them to be living with their parents with no end in sight, don’t you think?

This also means that Bluey’s dad Bandit, even if he’s a young, spry dad of 30, would be 210 dog-years old. A dog Moses. He’s practically as old as the fossils he studies as his archeology job! Let’s say his wife Chili is two years younger. She’d be 196 in dog years.

But Bandit is NOT 30. According to the official wiki, he’s somewhere between 41 and 45. This means that he could be 315 years old! A practical Biblical patriarch! Bluey’s mom? Same deal. But what about Bluey’s father Bob? His official age isn’t listed, but let’s say he’s 65. He would be 455 years old in dog years. He would have been alive before the United States was even founded. Disturbing.

(featured image: Disney+)